Re: OT: "Off-Topic Island"

by **docstox12** Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:34 pm

CP, as a stat man you will notice that when I last checked the Bureau of OTI Statistics this Tuesday AM, I noticed 1295 visits.Now there are 1405! Hmmmmmmmmm. Somehow the public is still taking notice of the goings on here on OTI.Has the mainland sent spies on a routine basis to keep track of us here?

The Bureau of Public Affairs and Tourism has informed me that perhaps a 100 coconut fee should be charged to each visitor here to raise revenue for public infrastructure improvements!

We can stamp the passports of these mainlanders with a double coconut logo.

by **amugs** Wed Apr 09, 2014 5:44 pm

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Harrowing flight from West Palm to Newark last night, bumpy as hell. I actually feared OTI might lose the Secretary of Currency. I'm not sure if our island paradise could have withstood the population decrease.

Thank God for the peace and quiet of OTI. No Island politics today, just recuperating on the sands of OTI. The search party for Snow Man will continue tomorrow.

Holy Cow CP - we would be at a critical state without our OTI mainstay!! Our population would be at a detrimental level and I would have to declare the three remaining OTI folks to either pack up our goods or ship in some newcomers from the mainland at the discretion of the three remaining men - the King and 2/3 of his court!

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:47 am

I say this with great sorrow, but if our search parties cannot find Snow Man by April 15th the OTI government will be forced to declare him legally dead.

All of his OTI possessions, which include his hollowed out log, and over 20,000 coconuts and 10,000 bananas, most of which he stole during his sleepwalking raid of the YOOTI and IOOTI provinces during the district civil wars back in late March 2014, will be distributed equally among the remaining residents of OTI.

A memorial service will be held in his memory on April 18, 2014. All residents of OTI including, politicians, Kings, Ex Kings, Kings in exile, and any residents of the mainland that were touched by his postings, his love for snow, and his disdain for summer, are also invited and encouraged to attend.

Hopefully these arrangements are all for naught, and he is just out on a drunken coconut juice stupor somewhere on the island.

by **docstox12** Sat Apr 12, 2014 5:30 am

Sorry for this late reply, but as all communications are routed through mainline channels, and the speed of those channels are so slow that they make a snail look like Jim Thorpe, my reply was horribly late.

Mainland law decrees that 7 years must pass before any individual is declared legally dead. Are you sure that we should declare 1/4 of our population dead at this early stage.I don't mind confiscating his goods but the memorial service should be delayed by a reasonable amount.

Communicating while I still can, signed DOCSTOX

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:05 pm

1 hour until we have to declare Snow Man legally dead.

What are the odds it would be snowing on the night that happens. This has to be a sign that he's still with us. Maybe we should delay the declaration of his passing until May 1. We may have to put this up to a vote of all the citizens of OTI.

Good news everyone, the ballot to delay declaring Snow Man legally dead until May 1 passed by a landslide 1-0 vote. Lets hear it for good old fashioned Democrarcy OTI style.

31.6 and still snowing moderately here on the DMZ of the former breakaway republics of YOOTI and IOOTI.

by **amugs** Wed Apr 16, 2014 8:21 am

King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

by **docstox12** Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:03 pm

amugs wrote:King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

Oh, King, thanks for that measly 1/4 inch of snow since February 18th, your plentitude of deliverance was truly amazing being April 16th. I've shaken out mops and gotten more white stuff!

As Steve McQueen said in Papillion....."Hey you bastards....I'm still here!"

by **docstox12** Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:06 pm

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:1 hour until we have to declare Snow Man legally dead.

What are the odds it would be snowing on the night that happens. This has to be a sign that he's still with us. Maybe we should delay the declaration of his passing until May 1. We may have to put this up to a vote of all the citizens of OTI.

Good news everyone, the ballot to delay declaring Snow Man legally dead until May 1 passed by a landslide 1-0 vote. Lets hear it for good old fashioned Democrarcy OTI style.

31.6 and still snowing moderately here on the DMZ of the former breakaway republics of YOOTI and IOOTI.

I second that 1-0 vote for the May 1st declaration!

This April snow is truly an omen for my pending move to the Northernmost area of OTI where, as oldtime stories of yeeterday related, coconuts always abounded in greater quantities than the evil Islands of South and East.

by **amugs** Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:09 am

docstox12 wrote:
amugs wrote:King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

Oh, King, thanks for that measly 1/4 inch of snow since February 18th, your plentitude of deliverance was truly amazing being April 16th. I've shaken out mops and gotten more white stuff!

As Steve McQueen said in Papillion....."Hey you bastards....I'm still here!"

Tisk tisk my good fellow court jester - take what you can get.

As my kindergarten teacher woudl alweays say - "You get what you get an dyuo don't get upset" if my fellow OTI mates woudl just live by this simple rule 1/4 odf snow for April is more than the norm so we should all be happy with some white gold.

granted I have blown chow since Feb 18th and I can be a man and admit to this but I in my utmost royalty have been ashamed of my failure to deliver to my good mates. It is not for the lack thereof but just uncontrolable forces that are greater the than I the King Snow Weenie.

As for Snowy I concur that we give the goo dlad and freind until May 1st to show is attendance at this great land of OTI. If not ...................as the great Seinfield Show on Masterbation - "And then there were three"

carry on and let's get thi sland for Spring Gents! Like a Star @ heaven

by **SNOW MAN** Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:32 am

Now hold on there CP and fellow OTI members. I'm certainly not dead, but for a while I sure felt like it. I've been recovering from a little more shoulder surgery. I like to thank all of my fellow OTI countrymen for being concerned about my MIA status. But every thing turned out ok and I'm back on my favorite place the OTI. Believe it or not on April 15th I had 2 inches of snow, of course it was only on the deck and colder surfaces. I'm sort of glad it didn't stick to the roads though because I'm getting a little anxious to take my two favorite cars out for a spin as soon as I get the OK from the doc that I can start driving again. I will see you all a little later.

by **docstox12** Fri Apr 18, 2014 6:20 am

Ah, it is so good to see you back SNOW, from your recent surgery on the mainland.Also great that Mugsy and CP are checking in as well.We have our solid 4 man population of OTI all set for when the next snowfall season begins Oct 15th here on OTI and the mainland again lights up with winter conversation.You can be sure I will always be here to maintain the governmental and infrastructure requirements, albeit minimal, until Oct 15th when perhaps more citizens of the mainland set up dual citizenships here on OTI and the mainland.

Looks like you and CP jackpotted out on ther last surprise snowstorms.Ah, those April and October OTI surprises!

Have a blast with the cars.I'll tip my hat on Coolbagh Road to you SNOW, as I will be out there April25-27 trout fishing the mainstem Delaware and also Hidden Lake.Gonna go to Floods in Strouidsberg, the joint with a million beers on tap.Cigars, beer, poker, fishing.....almost better than life on OTI.

by **docstox12** Thu May 01, 2014 3:16 pm

So, since all traces of life, barring myself, have left OTI without word, I hereby dissolve Parliament and declare an emergency situation whereby I take control of the Island.Come next winter season, any and all who wish to set foot on OTI will have to fill out immigration forms, pay a fee of 1000 coconuts and be personally interviewed by myself to see if you are a worthy candidate.They will bow and genuflect to my authority!!!!

Sadly, I must take these extreme measures as a result of the desertion of the remaining citizens. I only see Mugsy on the mainland occaisionally, but since he has not visited here in many days, his Snow Crown is now mine to give to a new candidate come October 15th.

I will dutifully carry on inspection and maintenance procedures on OTI and will be leaving for a 15 day tour of duty making a report on the status of the Island.

That is all.

by **Frank_Wx** Thu May 01, 2014 6:11 pm

1000 coconuts. Lol

by **docstox12** Fri May 02, 2014 6:37 am

OMG, a visit from the Emperor of the Mainland.Frank,you are welcome on OTI anytime, and,of course, OTI's autonomy is a direct result of your benevolent leadership.

You see all you citizens of OTI who have deserted it in the last 15 days the charismatic leadership I display. The Emperor visited OTI!

by **sroc4** Thu May 08, 2014 2:52 pm

docstox12 wrote:OMG, a visit from the Emperor of the Mainland.Frank,you are welcome on OTI anytime, and,of course, OTI's autonomy is a direct result of your benevolent leadership.

You see all you citizens of OTI who have deserted it in the last 15 days the charismatic leadership I display. The Emperor visited OTI!

Hilarious!

by **docstox12** Thu May 08, 2014 3:28 pm

Wow, first the Emporer, now the distinguished Doc from the mainland graces our humble abode.We the citizen(ry) of OTI are grateful and pleased we have attracted your attention.We here on OTI consider, you, Doc, to be one of the finest winter prognosticators on the mainland and we will certainly be paying the strictest attention to your coming analysis come mid October when the winter fun is just beginning to take shape.

Drop us a line now and then.

Now, back to maintenance and inspection in Sector 3 of OTI. Reports of a coconut tree demolishing the hut of a former (ahem!) citizen who goes by a handle PC, err, PCP or was it CP?

by **amugs** Tue May 13, 2014 4:19 pm

DOc,

Where has all the flowers gone? Long time ago - and PCP no CP is his call name is one of them along with SNOWMAN. I have had many run in with the locals in sector 6 and you know what sector 6 can be like! I have just gotten back to my humble abode to find three blind mice and little pigs running around! WTF is going here! The mice informed me through a translator that is the female counter to SNOW MAN an dmight I add much better looking that Parliment was disbanded by teh Great Ol' Doc and there was no one to approve this motion.

Yo can wear my crown for as long as you like this summer and then return it to me its rightful owner come Nov 1. I too liked to play King of his castle when I was a young lad but it seems more dementia to this situation at the time.

I'll check to find the report on Sector 3 and I see we have been blessed and honored by the Emperor (Frank) and his most trusted man SROC!

The roads must be in good condition for such visits!

Off to see how the mainland is hold up these days with such nice weather.

by **docstox12** Tue May 13, 2014 6:58 pm

Mugsy, you made the deadline for retaining your snow crown by mere milliseconds, but made it you did! Sorry for the extreme measure in disbanding Parliament, but the only one there to dissent was me and I was in favor since I became King of OTI, which was sanctioned shortly thereafter by the aformentioned visit by Emperor Frankus Winterweathercus and his trusty cohort Senator Docus LongIslandicus, which formerly establishes me as King.Now that we have a population varying from 1 to 2, I have no problem with your snow crown title PROVIDING we have at least 10 inches of snow between Nov 1st and Dec 31st, Anno Domani 2014.At which time if you have failed, I, myself will not only take over the Snow Crown but be King of OTI as well.

Sector 3 is now back in order after the tumultous visit by the Emperor and the Senator.Many coconut trees and palm fronds were trampled by their retinue of elephants, pack mules and standard bearers, but I have set them straight.

My next task is to build a raft and do a 360 degree visual inspection of OTI.It may take weeks or even months, but I will be watching, vigilant as ever.

by **amugs** Wed May 14, 2014 12:13 pm

docstox12 wrote:Mugsy, you made the deadline for retaining your snow crown by mere milliseconds, but made it you did! Sorry for the extreme measure in disbanding Parliament, but the only one there to dissent was me and I was in favor since I became King of OTI, which was sanctioned shortly thereafter by the aformentioned visit by Emperor Frankus Winterweathercus and his trusty cohort Senator Docus LongIslandicus, which formerly establishes me as King.Now that we have a population varying from 1 to 2, I have no problem with your snow crown title PROVIDING we have at least 10 inches of snow between Nov 1st and Dec 31st, Anno Domani 2014.At which time if you have failed, I, myself will not only take over the Snow Crown but be King of OTI as well.

Sector 3 is now back in order after the tumultous visit by the Emperor and the Senator.Many coconut trees and palm fronds were trampled by their retinue of elephants, pack mules and standard bearers, but I have set them straight.

My next task is to build a raft and do a 360 degree visual inspection of OTI.It may take weeks or even months, but I will be watching, vigilant as ever.

Your English teacher would be proud of you Doc with not only the hilarious humor but the perfect grammar and flow of the writings!

Sen Doc Dicus - may have to change that ending!

Will you be enlisting the help of the infamous Thomas P Hanks for the raft building or Sir Giligan?

I would never leave my Snow Weenie's- they may leave me for a time but I am ALWAYS here for them! So my travel back to mainland shall commence on the day cause the crow has crowned twice at dawn and I shall see you back here in OTI in a few weeks my dear self proclaimed crowned unanimous leader.

by **docstox12** Thu May 15, 2014 12:32 pm

Mugsy, thank you for the accolades on my rhetorical meanderings.Yes, it's true, we raised in the 50's and 60's had very strict training in literary composition.

My dear and loyal Mugsy, I appoint you as Chief of the Bureau of OTI Intelligence.While on the mainland, pay particular attention to weather related infrastructure and transmitting devices.Make a record and bring it back to OTI.If caught or captured, the Secretary of OTI Intelligence will disavow any knowledge of your existence.While there, see if you can find the last whereabouts of Snow and CP, as they have literally vanished from the face of OTI.Perhaps the Emperor and Senator on their recent visit, captured them for interrogation on the structure of OTI governance.

Report back to me in Sector 4 when you arrive back.You will find a hollowed out coconut tree with a large stick for sending signals.

by **docstox12** Thu May 29, 2014 3:55 pm

Just got back today from my sea inspection by raft of the entire 360 degree perimeter of OTI.There was no sign of life anywhere however sector 8 had the remains of what appears to be a fire pit area for cooking.A land to trip to sector 8 is now in order as a result of the raft inspection to see if any implements of use were carelessly left behind.A very brief shore trip from the raft found an analytical device for statistical analysis, something of the sort the (late, maybe?) CP would have used back in the day when OTI was a thriving mega-Islandus of winter statistical activity.Now, nothing but crickets and the occaisional squaking of Island birds of all types.

The Island looks pretty secure form what I observed on the sea side of it.I am well stocked with coconuts, bananas and wild berries of all kinds.Occasionally, I spear a fish for dinner.I can go on here through these awful summer months, barely holding on until the end of September when flickers of winter prognostication activity should light up OTI once again.

Have had no time to contemplate the course of action to take if the traitors SNOW and CP should try to weasel there way back into my good graces and rejoin the Island.Mugsy has maintained some communication so I know I can rely on him when OTI's season begins anew.

I posted this report because I notice that OTI customs registered many more visits here since my last report a few weeks or so ago.

I'm packing provisions and overnight equipment for the foray to sector 8 to discover more useable items.Will report back in a few weeks.

by **SNOW MAN** Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:36 pm

Boy Doc I thought you were my friend and now your calling traitor. I'm still out here keeping an eye out on the OTI. I've just been busy with my mom (took a fall, but no major issues just a banged up knee and a few stitches on the forehead) and cleaning out my brothers house (very tough emotionally sorting his personal belongings and basically erasing his life. It took me nine months to get the courage up to do deal with doing it) to get it ready for putting it up for sale. Just found out today that I may have torn my left shoulders rotater cuff. Going for MRI next week. I hope all is well with you, Cp, and Mugs. I have to say your a good OTI King king

things look great here on our wonderful island. I would think that your starting to get yours things packed up for the the BIG move up to CP country. Lets hope this up coming Winter is a blockbuster up here in north and west areas. I'll try to keep in touch more often I promise. Take care and I'll talk to you all soon. Very Happy

by **docstox12** Sun Jun 15, 2014 11:39 am

Ahh, THERE'S my loyal and faithful fellow OTI Citizen Snow.Real glad about your Mom recovering so well and sorry for the emotional trauma on your brother.Tough pain with that rotator cuff.I suffer constantly with arthritic knees myself.Ibuprofen is your friend,SNOW,LOL!

Yep, working on the house in Mahwah getting it in shape for sale.Four months to the move up to (what was his name again, PC, C3PO...???) country.Hoping for lot's of slop storms for the City and LI and big snows for us.

by **docstox12** Sun Jun 15, 2014 11:55 am

Here are a few excerpts from the entire official report I filed with the O.T.I.C.I.A. concerning the recent foray to sector 8 to investigate a possible firepit area .

Upon hacking through miles of dense underbrush with a machete, I found the suspected firepit area cursorily examined on the raft expedition.Appears to be the remains of a firepit plus the remains of what could be a thatch lean to.In the underbrush I found a manual titled "USERS GUIDE TO CENTRAL PARK WEATHER DATA" by professional meteorologists Dr. Millie Bahr and Dr.Paul R Vorteks.A special section was written by the Zookeeper, "THE ART AND SCIENCE OF ACCURATE SNOW MEASUREMENT. The manual was printed by the Publishing company of E. Nos and L.Nino.

Oddly enough, pages 48 to 60 were ripped out of the guide.Upon closer examination of the firepit area, an unburnt corner numbered "Page 54" was found.Obviously somebody wanted no evidence of the Zookeeper's contribution to remain for anybody finding the guide to see.

Upon further examination of the site, the broken remains of a mercury thermometer was found with mercury visible on the ground.I cut a coconut in half and covered the spill and will report it to the O.T.I.B.O.W.M.A.R. ( OTI board of waste management and remediation) so they can send a hazmat team in suits to remediate the mercury spill.That is, when we have enough citizens to form an O.T.I.B.O.W.M.A.R.

I though it might be a good idea to climb a coconut tree to try and find a possible exit path from the site into the OTI jungle.Nothing found in that venue with my binoculars but I did observe way out near sector 11. the farthestmost point in OTI, two large wooden crates floating in towards that shoreline.I decided immediately to head back to home base, reprovision, and explore what might be the contents of those two crates.

This will obviously take at least a few weeks, so until then fellow OTI watchers, adios.

by **docstox12** Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:03 am

Another lengthy report to the O.T.I.C.I.A is now in order as a result of the exceedingly strange discoveries I have made in sector 11 after a two week journey through dense jungle there and back to base.

The two large wooden crates I had seen with binoculars on top of a tall coconut tree in sector 8 were both broken down on the beach.Discarded cardboard boxes were found, some with writing on them.Discovered amongst these boxes were writings of a raingauge by Ronco, an Acme Anemometer and a Popeil's combination sling psychrometer/fishing rod.I guess somebody will try to catch a fish as they are taking the dewpoint.Wrappings for a large tent made by the Olmstead and Vaux company and the cardboard wrapping of an Onan manure powered generator were found.A strange metal thin plate appeared to have dropped off from perhaps one of the weather related instruments.It read "property of Belvedere Castle", whatever on God's green earth that means.

I noticed one of the remains of the wooden crate had many 1 inch air holes about one foot from the top.There was hay on the beach sand with the distinct smell of animal droppings.A set of human tracks and many hoof prints lead into the jungle.

What an incredible mystery this is.Someone appears to be setting up a weather station deep in the jungle in sector 11.

I could not follow the tracks as I was almost out of provisions.I will get back to base and will load up the raft with adequate supplies for a long trek into the jungle of sector 11 and try and make contact with whoever is out there and find out what they are up to.

This will take at least a month's time but if and when I return, a full and detailed report of these strange events will be made.

by **amugs** Sat Jul 19, 2014 9:25 am

Doc,

BE CAREFUL! Sector 11 has been a thorn in the OTI kingdom renegades if you will. They suck you in with their mysterious ways and then take you hostage. I heard from the governor of sectors 9,10,11 that the reports from citizens of these sectors who went into the jungle to never return. I as your King shall make a proclamation granting you the necessary provisions and supplies ( well we only have a few) and people (much fewer than our supplies) to trudge forth into the jungle herein with the King order of OTI to be passed by Parliament on this day July 19, 2014. Good luck and god's speed.

You know when I was out across my great kingdom I thought I left a tent someplace and my weather instruments my great grandfather gave me. Could just be a coincidence.

by **docstox12** Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:27 pm

Mugsy, don't know anything about the governor of sector 9,10,11 or even if Parliament still exists.I'm back from sector 11 wracked with fever and pain after being bitten by a tse tse fly.Before I succumbed to illness, I had found trampled vegetation, animal hoofprints and one set of human tracks.I searched everywhere but found no trace of where the activity was.Always overhead were dense clouds with a fine mist falling.When I was returning on the raft back to base, I noticed constant, heavy cloud cover ONLY over sector 11, not the rest of OTI.After a week's recovery, I will bring adequate supplies, including tse tse antiserum, for an EXTENDED search of sector 11.I've got to find the individual and animals responsible for changing the climate over sector 11 and find out who he is and what he is doing.This will take a few months I am sure.Hope to be back by mid September, hopefully upright, for a full report on this most suspicious and possibly catastrophic, activity in sector 11.If I don't make it back,Mugsy, please raise money on OTI for the construction of my statue in the main square with accolades as to my outstanding citizenship on OTI.

As the old song goes...."see you in September...."

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