OT: "Off-Topic Island"

Heavens to Murgatroyd, I agree 100 percent CP, we DO NOT want anyone, most of all young Mike, going Syos in the Coconut Room! I therefore endorse your recommendation. My Court still has the video of that unfortunate incident you reference from the Coconut Room. It is chilling even for an esteemed member of the Court as myself. I share it now only because it's important to know what can happen when someone goes bananas, or goes syos, in the Coconut Room:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKXpSyjfIik&sns=em

Respectfully Submitted,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

Parliament has discussed extensively and comes to agreement with Treasury Director CP and Chief Justice Billg on the promotion of Math to Director of Technology.His Mainland duties proclude the adoption of a second title at this juncture.If Math should so choose, he can render assistance to Treasury Director CP, especially now with the bannana , coconut and mango crops ripening and ready for accounting and shipment.CP, with his assistant Snow Queen, will undoubtedly be very busy these coming weeks dealing with this critical Island source of revenue.

Parliament also distributes funds to Chief Justice Billg for a thorough investigation of the "going Syos" incident at the Coconut Room,( as per Billg's evidentiary film).We at Parliament suspect the incident may have been incited by a global warmist sympathizer spreading literature to patrons that inflamed the already despondent snow lovers escaping from the Mainland snow derangement conditions.It is imperative that this type of incitement by thoroughly excised and eliminated as we are trying our best to provide our Mainland Tourists with a happy environment.

The infrastructure projects CP has endorsed are fully agreed to once the massive funds as per the lawsuit settlement from Chief Justice Billg's case pending against Mainland snow undermeasurement entities comes in.

Lastly, may I add on a personal note as your Director of Parliament, that I am exceedingly proud of the events that have occurred in our wonderful OTI.The addition of wonderful people plus visits from our Emperor and Vice Emperor.Much hard work has been done these last three years in infrastructure and governmental matters to make OTI a proud contributor to the Emperor Frank's domain.

A dedication to Syos as he struggles to get home.

The Beach Boys Sloop John B.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSAoEf1Ib58

On OTI no man or woman gets left behind. We are OTI.

EXCELLENT CP, the perfect song and metaphor for our buddy Syos!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:A dedication to Syos as he struggles to get home.

The Beach Boys Sloop John B.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSAoEf1Ib58

On OTI no man or woman gets left behind. We are OTI.

Laughing my ass off here. My son thinks I'm crazy. So how do I get home? I haven't heard back about my Visa or my job as Director of the Sanitarium. I'm feeling blackballed.......sorry.....africanamericanballed!!

Syos, Parliament has decided to fast track your Visa and Citizeneship application due to your loyalty and perserverence in the persuit of therapy at the Sanitarium to cure your Snow Derangement Syndrome.As such, we feel it justified and appropriate to reward you with the title Director of Mental Health.As you well know ,I, Docstox, am Director of the Sanitarium.However, we will be working closely, you as my subordinate, in the treatment of snow loving Mainland visitors seeking therapy for the various maladies caused by model mayhem, torching and snow draughts.I am immediately putting you in charge of the Therapy Department in the Sanitarium, duties of which will be interviewing each Mainlander seeking therapy, devising courses of therapy and then monitoring the staff who administers the various treatment modalities we at the Sanitarium, have used effectively these last 3 years of OTI's existence.

Welcome aboard!!!

Docstox
Director of Parliament for life
Director OTI Sanitarium

docstox12 wrote:Syos, Parliament has decided to fast track your Visa and Citizeneship application due to your loyalty and perserverence in the persuit of therapy at the Sanitarium to cure your Snow Derangement Syndrome.As such, we feel it justified and appropriate to reward you with the title Director of Mental Health.As you well know ,I, Docstox, am Director of the Sanitarium.However, we will be working closely, you as my subordinate, in the treatment of snow loving Mainland visitors seeking therapy for the various maladies caused by model mayhem, torching and snow draughts.I am immediately putting you in charge of the Therapy Department in the Sanitarium, duties of which will be interviewing each Mainlander seeking therapy, devising courses of therapy and then monitoring the staff who administers the various treatment modalities we at the Sanitarium, have used effectively these last 3 years of OTI's existence.

Welcome aboard!!!

Docstox
Director of Parliament for life
Director OTI Sanitarium

Here here

Let me be the first to congratulate our two new directors on OTI

To our Director of Mental Health Syos and our Director of Technology Math23x7. As our island nation now grows to 9 I know you will both be up to the demands and stresses of your new positions. If by chance you breakdown at times take solace in knowing the OTI Sanitarium is there for you. As long as Doc continues as Director of the Sanitarium, another position he may be unaware of that he holds for life, the OTI Sanitarium will remain a beacon of light for every cutter, slop storm and consecutive months of above normal temperatures that Mother Nature can throw us.

God Bless OTI and at this time I would like the new Directors join me in saying the OTI Pledge of Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to ex king Mugs
And the queen he bequeathed
One nation under Doc
Indivisible except by CP
With SNOWMAN and Taffy for all

Amen.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
GHEMR
Director of Treasury
Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns.

docstox12 wrote:Syos, Parliament has decided to fast track your Visa and Citizeneship application due to your loyalty and perserverence in the persuit of therapy at the Sanitarium to cure your Snow Derangement Syndrome.As such, we feel it justified and appropriate to reward you with the title Director of Mental Health.As you well know ,I, Docstox, am Director of the Sanitarium.However, we will be working closely, you as my subordinate, in the treatment of snow loving Mainland visitors seeking therapy for the various maladies caused by model mayhem, torching and snow draughts.I am immediately putting you in charge of the Therapy Department in the Sanitarium, duties of which will be interviewing each Mainlander seeking therapy, devising courses of therapy and then monitoring the staff who administers the various treatment modalities we at the Sanitarium, have used effectively these last 3 years of OTI's existence.

Welcome aboard!!!

Docstox
Director of Parliament for life
Director OTI Sanitarium

Thank you Doc. Now for my first duty as Director of Mental Health I Syosnow am going to re-check myself into therapy after seeing the complete collapse of the extremely positive long range forecast. One that went a mere 24 hours ago from showing a Mothrazilla for Sunday to a non-event and a potential Roidzilla next Thursday to a GLC and rainstorm. I will concoct a cocktail for myself which shall render me incapacitated for several days........................while I'm at it I may also prepare won for our MIA Mugsy for delusion syndrome He who every day finds cold and storm chances coming that then suddenly never materialize.

As far as our emperor goes I am gravely concerned. He was completely convinced that the January 28th to February 8th period would produce cold and snow. So confident was he that he said he would retire if it did not produce. Well gentlemen and fellow parliament members, the prospects of true winter weather for the foreseeable future look bleak indeed. We may need to check the Emperor himself into the OTI Sanitarium. Here I have provided a song for him

Gentlemen,
The OTI Court is gravely concerned about the situation on the Mainland. The most positive thing to happen in weeks was a short period of snow today that dusted the ground in some spots. That is not a good sign. Furthermore, an anticipated period of cold and potentially snowy weather now appears to favor a storm track into the Great Lakes with rain and 50-plus degree temperatures next Wednesday. If this warmer, wetter version of our future verifies, I fear this island may be over-run with refugees from the Mainland. This court stands ready to hear any immigration related cases on an expedited basis, as well as to grant immediate consideration to any "civil commitments" to the OTI Sanitarium that may be required. I just hope the facility can handle the expected influx of huddled masses. We will continue to monitor this developing situation.
Respectfully,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

Panic and depression is spreading like bubonic plague during the Dark Ages through the Mainland. An infrastructure of coconuts, mango and Frozen tropical delights (iced margarita and spongecake) may not withstand such an onslaught from the mainland. The Court is indeed wise to call for action. I have always believed a good scapegoat is in order. A deranged individual who spoke of early spring will be easy to locate. The sanitarium will soon be packed. Fear lies in my tired heart, but fighting is the only option. Visions of frozen tundras fill my soul with hope.

Long Live the Emperor.
Long Live OTI

Thundersnow/Grselig
Culinary Arts Hospitality Head Person

I have contacted a rogue member of the FDA. As per my duties I am readying massive supplies of depressants and tranquilizers as well as frozen concoctions of coconut and mango to appease the asylum inmates. First I will test them out ON myself. Then we will be prepared to assist any and all. As long as they possess the proper documents and are not on the list of temporarily banned nations

syosnow94 wrote:I have contacted a rogue member of the FDA. As per my duties I am readying massive supplies of depressants and tranquilizers as well as frozen concoctions of coconut and mango to appease the asylum inmates. First I will test them out ON myself.  Then we will be prepared to assist any and all. As long as they possess the proper documents and are not on the list of temporarily banned nations

It's citizens like you, new immigrants doing anything to help their adopted land advance and prosper that make OTI great. I salute you Director of Mental Health, and BTW testing out treatments on yourself before they are administered to others is an act of selflessness not seen since Hagen tasted Maximus food to make sure it wasn't poisoned.

Of course that was a movie, this is real life in a cyber world run by a retired dentist, with a snow queen running around in a bikini made of snow, how it never melts in a tropical location has never been adequately explained but I've tried everything), a Director of Immigration and Tourism, an ex King and a Chief of Security that never show their faces, and a Director of Culinary arts that changes his own title at a whim. Don't get me started on the Chief Justice who made his title so long I can't ever remember the whole thing. Why can't citizens just keep their names and titles short and simple like I do.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of Treasury
Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns.

Whoa. What happened. I had a long night in the Coconut Room last night. I was enjoying never-ending, bottomless Mango Margaritas and Mango-Peach Sangrias when a lovely young lady came up to me and started sharing some of my drinks. She was talking about negative NAO's, positive PNA's, a western-ridge/eastern-trough set up with a phased polar and subtropical jet running up the east coast. Next thing I know I wake up at home, with a hangover, next to a large gold framed painting of "The Scream" and next to my bed a bucket of dirty water with some sleet pellets at the bottom labeled "Your 2017 Snow." Can anyone explain this?

He Who Must Not be Named is alive. This is some serious sh!t.

billg315 wrote:Whoa. What happened. I had a long night in the Coconut Room last night. I was enjoying never-ending, bottomless Mango Margaritas and Mango-Peach Sangrias when a lovely young lady came up to me and started sharing some of my drinks. She was talking about negative NAO's, positive PNA's, a western-ridge/eastern-trough set up with a phased polar and subtropical jet running up the east coast. Next thing I know I wake up at home, with a hangover, next to a large gold framed painting of "The Scream" and next to my bed a bucket of dirty water with some sleet pellets at the bottom labeled "Your 2017 Snow." Can anyone explain this?

It's time for the moat and the draw bridges, to many weird characters roaming OTI right now. When can we expect a payout from our lawsuits so construction can begin?

I think some undesirables have been illegally importing SunKist oranges to OTI. In preferable cold weather loving climates SinKists have been known to have disturbing hallucinogenic effects. I pray we can get construction started.

I agree the drawbridges and moats need to be constructed post haste. Today the temperature soared to near 50* on the first day of February, a time previously heralded for a cold pattern change. I fear that this is leading to bizarre behavior by many and perhaps some terrible "warming" plot is afoot. As for our lawsuit settlement, it appears it is being dragged slowly through delaying tactics by the defendants who are claiming that the lack of snowfall this winter is evidence that they do not under-measure snow, they simply live in a "warm bubble." It is a frivolous argument, but hard to effectively counteract as flowers are about to bloom in Central Park.

billg315 wrote:I agree the drawbridges and moats need to be constructed post haste. Today the temperature soared to near 50* on the first day of February, a time previously heralded for a cold pattern change. I fear that this is leading to bizarre behavior by many and perhaps some terrible "warming" plot is afoot.  As for our lawsuit settlement, it appears it is being dragged slowly through delaying tactics by the defendants who are claiming that the lack of snowfall this winter is evidence that they do not under-measure snow, they simply live in a "warm bubble." It is a frivolous argument, but hard to effectively counteract as flowers are about to bloom in Central Park.

Filthy Bastards

With Super Bowl LI approaching, I would to propose for all of Central Park's snow seasons to be identified by Roman numerals. This would not count 1868-69 because we would need full winter data, so CPK Snow Season I would be the 1869-70 snow season. We are currently in CPK Snow Season CXLVIII (translates to 148). The king of the winters, 1995-96 would be CPK Snow season CXXVII (127). CPCantmeasuresnow was born during CPK Snow Season XCIII (93) which was 1961-62.

We can shorten it to C.S.S. (Number) to abbreviate it. Can I get a count of how many in Parliament approve? Even if it doesn't pass, at least I made an attempt of making it easier to identify Central Park winters.

Your director of whatever the heads of OTI prefer,

Mike

Math23x7 wrote:With Super Bowl LI approaching, I would to propose for all of Central Park's snow seasons to be identified by Roman numerals.  This would not count 1868-69 because we would need full winter data, so CPK Snow Season I would be the 1869-70 snow season.  We are currently in CPK Snow Season CXLVIII (translates to 148).  The king of the winters, 1995-96 would be CPK Snow season CXXVII (127).  CPCantmeasuresnow was born during CPK Snow Season XCIII (93) which was 1961-62.

We can shorten it to C.S.S. (Number) to abbreviate it.  Can I get a count of how many in Parliament approve?  Even if it doesn't pass, at least I made an attempt of making it easier to identify Central Park winters.

Your director of whatever the heads of OTI prefer,

Mike

What the heck, I have no objections, I vote I.

Mike you are the Director of Technology on OTI as per a unanimous vote in Parliament several days ago. I realize the slave masters on the Mainland are driving you pretty hard right now but the daily business of OTI must have some kind of precedence. Carry on and please give a complete report to the Director of Parliament asap regarding the impending 1100 post crisis which from this day forward shall be referred to as P1K+100.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of Treasury
Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns.

billg315 wrote:Gentlemen,
The OTI Court is gravely concerned about the situation on the Mainland. The most positive thing to happen in weeks was a short period of snow today that dusted the ground in some spots. That is not a good sign. Furthermore, an anticipated period of cold and potentially snowy weather now appears to favor a storm track into the Great Lakes with rain and 50-plus degree temperatures next Wednesday.  If this warmer, wetter version of our future verifies, I fear this island may be over-run with refugees from the Mainland. This court stands ready to hear any immigration related cases on an expedited basis, as well as to grant immediate consideration to any "civil commitments" to the OTI Sanitarium that may be required. I just hope the facility can handle the expected influx of huddled masses. We will continue to monitor this developing situation.
Respectfully,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ncoC1LUZvk

My contacts on the Mainland inform me that many scenes such as this are occuring as a result of the massive panic of "Cutteritis" being observed in many areas.With my newly installed Director of Mental Health currently incapacitated and admitted for more therapy at the Sanitarium, the burden now falls on my shoulders to try and handle the massive onslaught of snow deprived Mainlanders who were expecting a Bannanazilla type snowstorm in the Mainland ( we at OTI have our own nomenclature for Mainland snowstorms).As such, Chief Justice Billg, we at Parliament may request of you and your staff midnight sessions from now until the early part of February to intiate a temporary ban on all Mainland Tourist Visas if the osnslaught appears to overwhelm our capacity here at OTI and the Sanitarium.This truly saddend me as we at OTI truly welcome ALL Mainlanders but this recent breakdown of the Mainland weather modeling has caused this situation.We can only hope a rapid return to cold and snowy weather occur and help ameliorate this serious situation!

Docstox
Director of Parliament(for life)
Director of OTI Sanitarium(apparently for life)

Math23x7 wrote:With Super Bowl LI approaching, I would to propose for all of Central Park's snow seasons to be identified by Roman numerals.  This would not count 1868-69 because we would need full winter data, so CPK Snow Season I would be the 1869-70 snow season.  We are currently in CPK Snow Season CXLVIII (translates to 148).  The king of the winters, 1995-96 would be CPK Snow season CXXVII (127).  CPCantmeasuresnow was born during CPK Snow Season XCIII (93) which was 1961-62.

We can shorten it to C.S.S. (Number) to abbreviate it.  Can I get a count of how many in Parliament approve?  Even if it doesn't pass, at least I made an attempt of making it easier to identify Central Park winters.

Your director of whatever the heads of OTI prefer,

Mike

Director of Technology) aka Mike, Parliament UNANIMOUSLY approves this measure, as well as myself and Treasury Director CP, and the matter passes.You have done a great job here recalibrating the jumbled numbering of the already suspect Central Park snow data.When you are complete with this endeavor, please bring the results immediately to Chief Justice Billg and his staff at the Parliament Building for his use in the impending legal action against the Conservancy.

Math23x7 wrote:With Super Bowl LI approaching, I would to propose for all of Central Park's snow seasons to be identified by Roman numerals.  This would not count 1868-69 because we would need full winter data, so CPK Snow Season I would be the 1869-70 snow season.  We are currently in CPK Snow Season CXLVIII (translates to 148).  The king of the winters, 1995-96 would be CPK Snow season CXXVII (127).  CPCantmeasuresnow was born during CPK Snow Season XCIII (93) which was 1961-62.

We can shorten it to C.S.S. (Number) to abbreviate it.  Can I get a count of how many in Parliament approve?  Even if it doesn't pass, at least I made an attempt of making it easier to identify Central Park winters.

Your director of whatever the heads of OTI prefer,

Mike

Much easier than remembering the years. I vote "I"

Wow. That was a great, and I mean great 48 hour bender. The "medications" are all ready to go in preparation for a Mass exodus of the mainland. Although based on Docs last post and concerns he raised about the number of refugees it may not come to fruition in which case ..........

Quick Notes:

To the Director of Technology: Is there any resolution yet to the P1K+100 problem? The number is rapidly approaching.

To the Director of Mental Health: Your work has been exemplary so far.

To the Chief Justice: We need that lawsuit money for the moat and draw bridges, the influx of illegals from the Mainland is about to become a torrent brought on by the torrent we expect this Tuesday.

To the Director of Culinary Arts: I can't remember your new designated title, what is it? How come the Coconut room does not have one new menu or drink item since your promotion?

To the Chief of Security, the Director of Tourism and Immigration and the ex Monarch. How come you all have time to post on the Mainland but ignore your brethren on OTI?

The Director of Parliament: I realize you're visiting Mom Docstox on Tuesdays and you are applauded for it but we are in crisis times here, and may need to reach you if this impending influx brought on by another endless stream of cutters reaches a tipping point this coming Tuesday.

To the EMPEROR or Vice EMPEROR - The "will Mugs be overthrow" on our subtitle really needs to be updated. That happened about 3 years ago. Can an active Director (like say the Director of Parliament or Treasury) get authorship on this thread so we can update ourselves?

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of Treasury
Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Quick Notes:

To the Director of Technology: Is there any resolution yet to the P1K+100 problem? The number is rapidly approaching.

To the Director of Mental Health: Your work has been exemplary so far.

To the Chief Justice: We need that lawsuit money for the moat and draw bridges, the influx of illegals from the Mainland is about to become a torrent brought on by the torrent we expect this Tuesday.

To the Director of Culinary Arts: I can't remember your new designated title, what is it? How come the Coconut room does not have one new menu or drink item since your promotion?

To the Chief of Security, the Director of Tourism and Immigration and the ex Monarch. How come you all have time to post on the Mainland but ignore your brethren on OTI?

The Director of Parliament: I realize you're visiting Mom Docstox on Tuesdays and you are applauded for it but we are in crisis times here, and may need to reach you if this impending influx brought on by another endless stream of cutters reaches a tipping point this coming Tuesday.

To the EMPEROR or Vice EMPEROR - The "will Mugs be overthrow" on our subtitle really needs to be updated. That happened about 3 years ago. Can an active Director (like say the Director of Parliament or Treasury) get authorship on this thread so we can update ourselves?

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of Treasury
Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns.

All very cogent and appropriate points and I hope all OTI dignitaries will follow up and answer our Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler and director of the Treasury's queries above.

As for myself, I have requested and received permission form the Dutchess of Bergen County( my 96 year old Mom) to attend to her needs Wednesday and Thursday this week with the impending slop storm which will leave my 700 foot high Mainland Estate encased in frozen concrete thereby making any vehicular traveling next to impossible.I will therefor be at my station here at the Parliament Building to handle the massive influx of snow deprived Mainlanders suffering from Cutteritis,Slopmonia, and Torchitis.Perhaps the model Gods will be gracious to send the storm much more east to give the Mainland a Bannanazilla.We at the Sanitarium have been overworked and understaffed and we could use the rest ourselves!!

First I endorse the Emperor granting authority to either the Director of Parliament or the "Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler Director of Treasury Acting Director of Immigration and Tourism, until Taffy returns" to make changes to this thread and/or its title. In an emergency situation the Emperor may not be available and if a sudden change is required someone who is regularly present on the island should be able to step into action. I do recommend that you approach the Emperor delicately. He has been under a lot of pressure with the recent warming of the short-term forecast and he (with complete justification in my mind) may be prone to strangling the next person who approaches him with a "winter is over" or "how come it's not cold yet" question. Walk a mile in the Emperor's shoes before complaining that your feet hurt, I say.
As for the lawsuit settlement, as you might imagine the defendant's in this case are a disreputable bunch. They are claiming that they don't have the money to pay right now because it has all been spent on social and city services for those who are living in the city as part of NYC's "Sanctuary City" status. The defendant's have counter-offered as an alternative to paying the settlement that they place what they label as one of the city's "foreign-born newcomers" in charge of snow measurements in the park. I have rejected this counter-offer outright.
Respectfully
Billg
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor