OTI- Radiation contained - The Island is habitable again as of Jan 2023

EMERGENCY PROCLAMATION OTI BULLETIN 1/3/2024

It has come to our attention monitoring Mainland long range forecasts of the government sanctioned NWS aka NOOA, that whatever snow may fall from this still to be determined weekend storm, will be washed away within days by a midweek soaker rainstorm of 1 to 2 inches.Expect Mainlanders with snow withdrawal symptoms caused by the rapid disappearance of the snow as well as a return to the locked in pattern there since Nov 1.
All OTI and OOTI staff, use this brief period for rest, rehabilitation and re stocking as we at Parliament expect a return shortly of the massive immigration to both OTI and OOTI, not only for the lack of snowpack time, but its immediate loss.
Updates will be sent to both Islands agencies to keep those advised on this rapidly developing situation!

Docstox
Director of OTI Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium
Jan 3 Anno Domani 2024

Sir,

I will be ready to go tomorrow, the disappointment on the mainland is at critical levels. I set a curfew for my staff so they will be ready to go first thing in the morning, so please make sure the kitchen staff, the Sanitarium, and the Coconut Lounge are ready to go. I believe we will see numbers we haven't seen in a long time.

Dunnzoo wrote:Sir,

I will be ready to go tomorrow, the disappointment on the mainland is at critical levels. I set a curfew for my staff so they will be ready to go first thing in the morning, so please make sure the kitchen staff, the Sanitarium, and the Coconut Lounge are ready to go. I believe we will see numbers we haven't seen in a long time.

Dear Director of OTI EMS Services:
We have used the recent lull in immigration to rest, re-equip and prepare for the massive onslaught of Mainlander back to OTI this week.The portion of the Mainland that busted completely or low on the recent snow activity plus the heretofor unseen rapid disappearence of any snow pack by mid week will result in exactly what you predict.We have sent out teams to all sectors to scour for coconuts and bannanas to fill the recently depleted treasury so we can pay for all the equipment and salaries that this massive expected influx will incur.Unlike the Mainland, which creates "dollars" out of thin air, we here at OTI have a coconut/bannana based currency that always is replenished with our Island's resources in all the sectors.Our Treasurer ,CP, has fully recovered from his recent bout of snow deprivation as his Mainland Estate was the beneficiary of a solid snowfall this weekend.Therefor, he will be available to manage the OTI Treasury to tally additional coconuts and bannanas and then to distribute the necessary "OTI Bucks" necessary not only for your EMS needs, but other areas of OTI, such as the Coconut Lounge, for re-stocking.

Docstox
Director of the OTI Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
January 7 Anno Domani 2024

Two more laws have been approved on OOTI and I'm posting here on OTI because the ban on 6 of the 26 letters of the alphabet is making communication by written proclamation very difficult to understand on OOTI.

As I alluded to starting yesterday we have now banned the Letters GLC from OOTI, along with the letters MJ and O which were banned last week. For those not weather savy, all two of you that read these, GLC is the abbreviation for Great Lakes Cutter. Those irritating storms that bring warmth, heavy rain, and wind to the eastern third or thereabouts of the country.

Speaking of wind, that word is also being banned from OOTI. If I have to read one more post on the Mainland about high winds I may split a gut.

I should clarify for all visitors and tourists that speaking words that have the letters MJOGL and C is allowed on OOTI and you are now allowed to enunciate the letters while speaking. We tried it the other way for a couple of days but one tourist was hospitalized when his tongue became so inflamed trying to avoid pronunciation of the 6 letters while speaking, he had to be rushed to the OOTI hospital for special surgery. He is currently in stable condition.

As always I remain

CPdoesn'thavetomeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury OTI
Benevolent Dictator of OOTI

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Two more laws have been approved on OOTI and I'm posting here on OTI because the ban on 6 of the 26 letters of the alphabet is making communication by written proclamation very difficult to understand on OOTI.

As I alluded to starting yesterday we have now banned the Letters GLC from OOTI, along with the letters MJ and O which were banned last week. For those not weather savy, all two of you that read these, GLC is the abbreviation for Great Lakes Cutter. Those irritating storms that bring warmth, heavy rain, and wind to the eastern third or thereabouts of the country.

Speaking of wind, that word is also being banned from OOTI. If I have to read one more post on the Mainland about high winds I may split a gut.

I should clarify for all visitors and tourists that speaking words that have the letters MJOGL and C is allowed on OOTI and you are now allowed to enunciate the letters while speaking. We tried it the other way for a couple of days but one tourist was hospitalized when his tongue became so inflamed trying to avoid pronunciation of the 6 letters while speaking, he had to be rushed to the OOTI hospital for special surgery. He is currently in stable condition.

As always I remain

CPdoesn'thavetomeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury OTI
Benevolent Dictator of OOTI

Dear Benevolent Dictator of OOTI

In light of the recent massive immigration to OTI as a result of the disappering Wall snowpack and persistent rain pattern, we at the Parliament cannot take up the approval yet of the new language of OOTI.We respect OOTI's autonomy and fully agree to adopt the new language restrictions there after we get a handle on processing this mass of immigrants, many who have come illegally, but are welcomed here with free sand phones, medical care and licenses to drive coconut derived fueled vehicles.This has been one of the worst Wall seasons on the Mainland in spite of the glowing predictions of record cold and snow.
You are to be commended on the language changes there and the OTI Sanitarium is extremely interested in the long term success of this process in the treatment of snow deprived Mainlanders.We are sending a team from the Sanitarium to OOTI, with your permission ,of course, including the noted authority on Snow Derpivation Dr.Lackasnowpack.
Very sorry to hear of the visitor to OOTI becoming tongue tied with your new language system there.Oddly, I have received many requests from Mainlanders who read about it in the OTI Daily Coconut newsprint and on OTI/bannana.org.They request the use of this for ameliorating blabbermouth Mother's in Law!
As ever, here to serve and expedite any needs you have on OOTI

Docstox
Director Of OTI Massively Swamped Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium

Transmissions from OOTI are becoming more garbled and complicated as per the parameters set by Benevolent Dictator doesn't measure snow anymore CP.We are amazingly fortunate to have located one of the Polish engineers who developed the Enigma Machine coding device of WW II.He is Dr.Stanislaw Punchkeyski, and at age 105 is alert and vibrant and has graciously offered to help develop a coding device that removes the letters banned on OOTI et al M.J.O etc on transmissions from OTI to OOTI but adds those letters back on transmissions received at OTI.
This will make Island to Island communication much improved and easy!

A short video demonstrating the device is below:

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=enigma+machine&mid=06F23639575040553AAC06F23639575040553AAC&FORM=VIRE

docstox12 wrote:Transmissions from OOTI are becoming more garbled and complicated as per the parameters set by Benevolent Dictator doesn't measure snow anymore CP.We are amazingly fortunate to have located one of the Polish engineers who developed the Enigma Machine coding device of WW II.He is Dr.Stanislaw Punchkeyski, and at age 105 is alert and vibrant and has graciously offered to help develop a coding device that removes the letters banned on OOTI et al M.J.O etc on transmissions from OTI to OOTI but adds those letters back on transmissions received at OTI.
This will make Island to Island communication much improved and easy!

A short video demonstrating the device is below:

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=enigma+machine&mid=06F23639575040553AAC06F23639575040553AAC&FORM=VIRE

LOL

The OTI scientists do it again. Very futuristic looking from the vantage point of our simple laid back tropical paradise.

I'm never setting foot on the Mainland again ever. Teased with 10 inches of snow that vanishes in four days, that's not Winter. Cold spell coming up, yes we use to call that normal January weather. Oh please don't get me started, even though I started myself LOL.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

docstox12 wrote:Transmissions from OOTI are becoming more garbled and complicated as per the parameters set by Benevolent Dictator doesn't measure snow anymore CP.We are amazingly fortunate to have located one of the Polish engineers who developed the Enigma Machine coding device of WW II.He is Dr.Stanislaw Punchkeyski, and at age 105 is alert and vibrant and has graciously offered to help develop a coding device that removes the letters banned on OOTI et al M.J.O etc on transmissions from OTI to OOTI but adds those letters back on transmissions received at OTI.
This will make Island to Island communication much improved and easy!

A short video demonstrating the device is below:

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=enigma+machine&mid=06F23639575040553AAC06F23639575040553AAC&FORM=VIRE

LOL

The OTI scientists do it again. Very futuristic looking from the vantage point of our simple laid back tropical paradise.

I'm never setting foot on the Mainland again ever. Teased with 10 inches of snow that vanishes in four days, that's not Winter. Cold spell coming up, yes we use to call that normal January weather. Oh please don't get me started, even though I started myself LOL.

Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have our two Islands used as Hydrogen Bomb test sites like Bikini Atoll IF the sacrifice would produce forever a never ending stream of winters with extended cold and snowpack from late November through April.However, the chances of that are about as likely as me winning the 100 million dollar lottery, so with the knowledge that we now have Wall and Wing forevermore, we shall endeavor to keep our Islands operating in the attempt to preserve Mainlanders who love snow, sanity and reason.I feel we will be candidates one day for the Nobel Prize , my good man.No good effort ever goes unnoticed!

The cruelty of Wall was indeed exemplified with yet another episode of "the amazing disappering snowpack" back on our Mainland estates.A sad story indeed.A cold spell is now anything above 20 degrees when we used to know them in days gone by in the below zero range for nights for nights at a time.

Good to have you here for an extended period, resources at OTI are at the breaking point now with this mass immigration and you are saving us by having OOTI take up the slack.
A Parliamentary medal is in the works for you my good man!!

My dear Directors of OTI,

Unfortunately I have been delayed on the mainland, an issue as the result of this rainstorm will have me occupied until tomorrow. I hope to get there shortly thereafter, but I have complete confidence in my staff to handle all the tourists that are making their way there now. I'm afraid we will have more after the next event Friday, so hopefully my staff and I will be able to handle the influx.

Sincerely,

Director of OTI EMS Services

Dunnzoo wrote:My dear Directors of OTI,

Unfortunately I have been delayed on the mainland, an issue as the result of this rainstorm will have me occupied until tomorrow. I hope to get there shortly thereafter, but I have complete confidence in my staff to handle all the tourists that are making their way there now. I'm afraid we will have more after the next event Friday, so hopefully my staff and I will be able to handle the influx.

Sincerely,

Director of OTI EMS Services

Dear ever dependable and ready Director of OTI EMS Services:

Your message gives me great relief as emergency services will be in good hands.We at OTI always strive for Mainlanders to have an enjoyable and SAFE stay here, whatever sector they may choose to visit.
A suggestion I have is to perhaps have extra personnel attached to the Coconut Lounge as Mainlanders drowning their snow deprived sorrows have resulted in a few mishaps in and around that fine establishment.
Here's hoping for an uptick in Wall weather on the Mainland so we can get an extended time for rest and re equipment.
You may consider allocating a few units to OOTI where Benevolent Dictator CP has reported a large increase of Mainlanders, the overflow from OTI.Stop by the Parliament Building so we can allocate an encryption device to you, the description of which is found in a post above, as CP has forbidden the use of certain triggering letters used in Mainland long range forecasting.

As always, at your service,

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium

Dated Jan 10 Anno Domani 2024

I have to stop stirring the pot on the Mainland. This is where I belong, and no place else.

CPwillneverhavesustainedsnowpackagain
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler
Benevolent Dictator OOTI

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I have to stop stirring the pot on the Mainland. This is where I belong, and no place else.

CPwillneverhavesustainedsnowpackagain
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler
Benevolent Dictator OOTI

Dear OTI and OOTI man of many designations:

You and I essentially created OTI almost 10 years ago with the indulgence of Emperor Frank and many a dark time on the Mainland we have sought solace on these two magnificent Islands.
As a very wise man on the Mainland once said "Logic can get you from A to Z (somewhat like Long Range Forecasting) but imagination can take you ANYWHERE" (like here)
Enjoy the ride my fine friend!

By the way, your new designation has inspired me to begin a new line of therapy at the Sanitarium.Lackasnowpackitis treatment! More sources of revenue, dear Treasury Director!

Docstox
Director of OTI Parliament
Temporary Operator of the Coconut Lounge
Director OTI Sanitarium
Liaison To OOTI Leadership

It looks like a mass exodus is occurring from the Mainland. After the disappointment for many from yesterday's event and the January thaw to come, we need to be prepared for a long two weeks here on OTI. I will make sure my staff and I are ready, for the tourists may need some advanced therapies. With the season quickly slipping away from us, I fear some people may be in dire straits. I will also stop in at the Coconut Lounge in case some tourists need encouragement to go for therapy. I would also suggest that all media is blocked so they can truly get some rest and reset in case things improve on the Mainland.

My private jet arrived today and landed at the new airfield by the port of entry. Saw many vessels pulling into port so suspect a mass influx is upon us. Not really coming here from a sense of disappointment. Frankly, my landscape on the mainland is covered with snow this morning and temps are in the teens which is a vast improvement over the past couple years. But, I fear the next 5-7 days will be bleak on the mainland with warm temps and more rain. Therefore, the Coconut Lounge seems a good refuge from the ugliness that Wall (or are we in Wing now?) has in store in the coming days. Hope others will join me at the Lounge during these bleak times. I see Janet already has her usual seat at the bar.
p.s. As my jet flew into OTI airspace we passed over sector 3. I saw smoke and flames rising from the ground and what appeared to be some type of mutant creatures scrounging around. I'd advise we keep that sector permanently closed. That place ain't right.

Most Excellent Inquisitor and Director of OTI Emergency Services,
Your devotion and duty to OTI warms my heart on this blustery cold and snowy day on the Mainland this morning.I have a live cam on my estate on the Mainland and a wireless thermometer so I am aware of the comings and goings there.You have both read my mind concerning the next few weeks as we enter a mild and rainy period there and once again massive migration of the snow deprived will be arriving here.We at the Sanitarium have noted that a particularly virulent form of snow deprivation syndrome occurs whenever a snowpack is lost within a week of it's appearance.This is what we are anticipating this week.
The entire Island and it's staff have enjoyed a week of rest and rehabilitation so we are more prepared to deal with the upcoming emergency.Much better now than the relentlessly warm and cutter plagued December on the Mainland.
To address what is going on in Sector 3, Parliament has authorized a fact finding mission to be sent in order to find out exactly what form of alien life may be inhabiting that area.It is one the Islands less inhabited.My worry is that the recent disasterous and unfortunate radiation accident may have given rise to aberrent life forms as a result of mutation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX6dwnt_7QI

Amazingly, this could coincide with the complete lack of any Godzilla findings on the Mainland as per NJ Strong terminology.

Then it could be something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dopaK0DGc-M

Anyway, be assured that we at Parliament take your observation in sector 3 seriously and will take the matter into serious consideration:

That second one def looks like a scene from Sector 3. lol.

Mornin my fellow Brethren and Sisthren of OTI.  If you dont mind I will set myself up over there on the beach with my Tommy Bahama beach chairs, so I can soak up a little sun and sit back to listen to the slapping of the waves gently crashing on the shores.  In need of a little break from the mainland.  Just a few days should do, to recharge the batteries.  



Hey Janet...I noticed you out for a run with Bill and Doc while I was setting up my chair.  Great job keeping them both in tip top shape.   



Anyway Im hoping after some peace and quiet, and a quick dip in the water a little later many of you might join me at the coconut lounge for some delicious apps and cocktails.  I'm hearing the ahi tuna and Mahi Mahi are freshly caught.  Love me some fish tacos, and a little Tuna Poke.    



Regarding sector three I too saw something quite strange moving about as I flew overhead.  I honestly wasnt quite sure what I was seeing.   BTW...anyone see CP? He's been missing

Doc, that's Bill on the left there running with Janet!
Could be CP, that last picture down there.Radiation is insidious, my good Man, never know what the results may be.
In any event, glad you came here to sit and rest a spell.Big party tonight at the Coconut Lounge too, the headliner Mainland Band is booked, Dick Dendrite and the Snowpaks, and seating is limited. but as you are an honered Guest here, you will get a table right up front.Just mention my name to the bouncer at the entrance!
Freshly caught fish as you picture there will be served to you also!
Better rest up now as word is at the OTI Meteorological Institute that all Hades will break loose from Feb.10 through March on the Mainland!
Be advised!!!!

sroc4 wrote:Mornin my fellow Brethren and Sisthren of OTI.  If you dont mind I will set myself up over there on the beach with my Tommy Bahama beach chairs, so I can soak up a little sun and sit back to listen to the slapping of the waves gently crashing on the shores.  In need of a little break from the mainland.  Just a few days should do, to recharge the batteries.  



Hey Janet...I noticed you out for a run with Bill and Doc while I was setting up my chair.  Great job keeping them both in tip top shape.   



Anyway Im hoping after some peace and quiet, and a quick dip in the water a little later many of you might join me at the coconut lounge for some delicious apps and cocktails.  I'm hearing the ahi tuna and Mahi Mahi are freshly caught.  Love me some fish tacos, and a little Tuna Poke.    



Regarding sector three I too saw something quite strange moving about as I flew overhead.  I honestly wasnt quite sure what I was seeing.   BTW...anyone see CP? He's been missing

Scott, you need to get yourself out there as well, we'll come by and get you later. We all need to stay in shape and not get soft. We need to be ready when(if!) we get back to the mainland to remove any snow. I can't be on the mainland and OTI at the same time helping people out with their health issues. Maybe I will also start a beachside yoga class, best of both worlds and you won't have to go to far. I'll meet you at the Coconut Lounge later to make sure you eat healthy lol

Doc, that is me in the last picture. Must have used a gray filter though because I'm dying my hair bleach blond these days to go with my new permanent beach life style.

That was of course during my morning meditation. I try to chant this at least 1,000 times a day now. It's done wonders.  

I am one with the Wall
I accept now the Wing
Winter no longer exists
No sorrow does that bring

I noticed Bills inquiry again on the seasons. Wall begins December 1 and ends January 31 and Wing runs from February  1 to March 31.

Spring begins April 1 and ends June 21
Summer, the only season not modified, June 22 to September 21 and Fall September 22 to November 30.

Good to know we are still in Wall until Jan. 31. I was concerned I was late getting up my Wing themed decor at my place. Still getting used to the new seasons.

Received a message via Carrier Pigeon from Janet she is heading back here after yet another dreadful week on the Mainland of disappearing snowpack, mild temperatures and rain.Glad to have you back Director of EMS Services, I always feel safer with you here stumbling out of the Coconut Lounge !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGPOwBUGzco
Slight drop off today in the mass migration as some Mainland models indicate the remote possibility of a few inches of snow.
Stand by all OTI staff for the latest briefings!

docstox12 wrote:Received a message via Carrier Pigeon from Janet she is heading back here after yet another dreadful week on the Mainland of disappearing snowpack, mild temperatures and rain.Glad to have you back Director of EMS Services, I always feel safer with you here stumbling out of the Coconut Lounge !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGPOwBUGzco
Slight drop off today in the mass migration as some Mainland models indicate the remote possibility of a few inches of snow.
Stand by all OTI staff for the latest briefings!

Glad to be back, and I didn't spill a drop! I will however recover in time for next week when everyone on the Mainland returns after disappointment yet again.

Dear OTI officers,

It looks like we are in for quite the exodus from the mainland. It is now almost February and most of the members see no snow in sight. I fear it will be a long 2 weeks at least before anyone leaves. I will order more supplies as I think they will also need more than one treatment. I suggest we have all hands on deck, make sure everything is overstocked so we don't run into a shortage in 10-14 days. I will be in the Coconut Lounge greeting new arrivals and checking their wellbeing.

Dunnzoo wrote:Dear OTI officers,

It looks like we are in for quite the exodus from the mainland. It is now almost February and most of the members see no snow in sight. I fear it will be a long 2 weeks at least before anyone leaves. I will order more supplies as I think they will also need more than one treatment. I suggest we have all hands on deck, make sure everything is overstocked so we don't run into a shortage in 10-14 days. I will be in the Coconut Lounge greeting new arrivals and checking their wellbeing.

Agree 100% Director of EMS Services.Parliament is having an emergency late night session to discuss this impending flood of snow deprived Mainlanders and how we handle it .The Benevolent Dictator Of OOTI has sent a message that Island can handle some of the mass immigration and we are setting up tents in all sectors to help out as well.
Most importantly the Coconut Lounge supplies are fast tracked to arrive tomorrow as we will need multiple kegs and bottles of wine and hard liquor during this time.I salute all of our overworked staff performing above and beyond the call of duty!We need a period of cold and snowpack on the Mainland for two weeks to catch our breath!

My Dear Directors of OTI,

I am calling all EMS staff to have all hands on deck for next week. I want to be prepared in case we get another invasion from the mainland. The potential for winter weather has shown itself, but I fear it may come crashing down on those who are hoping for some snow. Better to be prepared, as there will be many that need extra care, as another let-down nears (if it comes to pass). As I am hoping for a break here on OTI to regroup, I fear it will not be possible. I will work part-time the next few days to try to recharge myself, and order extra supplies. I will also look for alternative treatments, as some people may no longer respond to the current ones we are providing. I am hoping for snow for the mainland for everyone's benefit, but I have to prepare for the worst case scenario. I recommend all staff members prepare as best they can for another invasion(or lack of those here not going back to the mainland). If anyone wants to test out the new therapies, let me know, and I will arrange that when it is settled.

Hoping for some relief,
your tired Director of EMS  


Janet (aka Dunnzoo)

Dunnzoo wrote:My Dear Directors of OTI,

I am calling all EMS staff to have all hands on deck for next week. I want to be prepared in case we get another invasion from the mainland. The potential for winter weather has shown itself, but I fear it may come crashing down on those who are hoping for some snow. Better to be prepared, as there will be many that need extra care, as another let-down nears (if it comes to pass). As I am hoping for a break here on OTI to regroup, I fear it will not be possible. I will work part-time the next few days to try to recharge myself, and order extra supplies. I will also look for alternative treatments, as some people may no longer respond to the current ones we are providing. I am hoping for snow for the mainland for everyone's benefit, but I have to prepare for the worst case scenario. I recommend all staff members prepare as best they can for another invasion(or lack of those here not going back to the mainland). If anyone wants to test out the new therapies, let me know, and I will arrange that when it is settled.

Hoping for some relief,
your tired Director of EMS  


Janet (aka Dunnzoo)

God Bless our loyal and faithful Director of EMS!

All points you stated above re being taken very seriously as we have been stretched beyond the breaking point serving distressed Mainlanders this Wall-Wing season with only a very brief period in January to catch our breath.I am hoping for a major snow event plus two weeks of cold to give us the much needed break we need here to rebuild and re-equip.However, as you state, the miserable trend of the Mainland season with model failure requires us to make contingency plans in case that mass exodus from the Mainland occurs.Our sister Island OOTI will be able to absorb some of that but even with that help, the situation may become precarious.Carry on as best you can EMS Director, as all of us are.