OTI- Radiation contained - The Island is habitable again as of Jan 2023

billg315 wrote:I hope all my OTI friends will join me at the Coconut Lounge tonight for a birthday drink! It looks like Janet could use a drink or two after her visit to Sector 3.

I toasted your birthday with a few craft beers here on the mainland, had to run back for some EMT duties here since things were stable on OTI. Hoping your day was filled with sunshine and coconuts!

Apparently we all had a very good time

I pasted in a meme, and it was there. This morning it is not. Oh woe is me. What have I done wrong, citizens?

Broken links abound much as with the lounge's patron's credit cards.

There's been some chit AND some chat around the pina colada cooler that the big hole in the center of our sun is going to hit the island in the next couple of days, flooding it with more radiation. What does this mean?  It's the start of something bad. Othelia has hightailed it to her burrow and fast. Mugs may be our only key informant.  As well, Doc may reach back into his prodigious memory or find a relevant YouTube video to illustrate what may take place.

On an even more serious note, if we do not get some business going in the lounge, we can all start naming our newborns after Shakespearean tragedies.  The 3-course meal for $11.99 is doing us in. For a while, the crowds came. Now, it is emptier than the Sullivan county casino. Everyone, let's get the crowds back in. For all of us who have saved 150 gallons of oil this season, that is $750 dollars for the blackjack table. (Doc: always bet on black).  

There is an option, painful though as it be for the left to center and the left: the Republican party has inquired to rent the entire island for its national convention in 2024; Milwaukee has pulled out!  Because these are very delicate negotiations, I've asked CP to head our delegation. CP, take your inspiration from this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PJzK35hMrU   Sorry it was the best I could do. I am not Doc.

dkodgis wrote:There's been some chit AND some chat around the pina colada cooler that the big hole in the center of our sun is going to hit the island in the next couple of days, flooding it with more radiation. What does this mean?  It's the start of something bad. Othelia has hightailed it to her burrow and fast. Mugs may be our only key informant.  As well, Doc may reach back into his prodigious memory or find a relevant YouTube video to illustrate what may take place.

On an even more serious note, if we do not get some business going in the lounge, we can all start naming our newborns after Shakespearean tragedies.  The 3-course meal for $11.99 is doing us in. For a while, the crowds came. Now, it is emptier than the Sullivan county casino. Everyone, let's get the crowds back in. For all of us who have saved 150 gallons of oil this season, that is $750 dollars for the blackjack table. (Doc: always bet on black).  

There is an option, painful though as it be for the left to center and the left: the Republican party has inquired to rent the entire island for its national convention in 2024; Milwaukee has pulled out!  Because these are very delicate negotiations, I've asked CP to head our delegation. CP, take your inspiration from this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PJzK35hMrU   Sorry it was the best I could do. I am not Doc.

At this point in time, dear Director,mass reverse immigration occurs back to the Mainland as realization sets in that the snow season there is over.They accept that and have no need for our Island.As they say, "fair weather friends"!
You have set all time records at the Lounge for receipts this season as your incredible array of menu and entertainment set a new standard.
At this juncture, closure of the Island is set for April 1.I, as always, will remain with a skeleton crew, to make sure all is in readiness for the next season's influx slated for Nov 1, Anno Domani 2023.
I will post a closure notice thanking all those who have made this the most remarkable and noteworthy season of OTI.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Director of Maintenance Crew

I will prepare to take the EMS supplies off the island, as some of them have expiration dates. It was a good run this year, as many drowned their sorrows of the snowless winter. I will make sure I get schedule the re-supply before November 1st so we are ready. See you all back on the mainland!

Dunnzoo wrote:I will prepare to take the EMS supplies off the island, as some of them have expiration dates. It was a good run this year, as many drowned their sorrows of the snowless winter. I will make sure I get schedule the re-supply before November 1st so we are ready. See you all back on the mainland!

Magnificent work Janet, the Island was never more safe being under your care! Especially like the triage center you set up next door to the Coconut Lounge ,for imbibers such as myslef that went a little too far over the line.
Parliament approves of any and all methods for your handling the EMS supplies and is at your service when we open again NOV 1.

CLOSURE NOTICE

Once again, dear OTI staff and visitors, we reduce our staff to a skeleton crew which I will maintain through the months until we get back to opening on Nov 1.
I want to thank CP for his steadfast work here on the Island.
Billg gets the OTI Citizen of the Year Award for his groundbreaking work defraying the radiation contamination vis a vis Dawn Dishwashing Detergent.Talk of Noble Prize is in the air.
Damian did an amazing job directing the Coconut Lounge, revenues skyrocketed and reviews in the OTI newspaper, the Daily Bannana, were outstanding.Word has spread now on the Mainland and Damian and Parliament will be in talks before opening Nov 1 for possible expansion plans.
Doc of the Mainlands amazing visit and post wins OTI's outstanding post of the season.Just the fact that a higher up in Emperor Frank's entourage spent the time making that post makes our season complete.

Your genial Director Of Parliament would like to thank everybody once again who posted here or visited.I will be back on duty Nov 1 for the next season.

DOCSTOX
Director of Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium

PS: If I forgot anybody in this statement, please cut me some slack.I am 72 and have suffered radiation damage of brain circuitry.

I would like to thank all island personnel for their great work during this most trying of seasons. Look forward to operations starting up again in the Fall.
Note that the Hall of Justice will remain open for summer tour groups. Please see the tour guide to arrange appointments (whoever the tour guide is. We may not have hired for that position).
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

Dear OTI Government Officials and visitors:

I am happy to report the Island is now open for business for the upcoming winter season for Mainlanders to escape Model Mayhem Madness and the angst contained within.Re-opening is usually Oct. 1, but the horrid warm conditions on the Mainland that first week would have be-smirched theFall season which now, I can happily say, is in full swing with members reporting morning temps near or slightly below 40.The opening of the Long range Thread on the Mainland Board is yet another happy omen of the winter to come.We at the OTI Institute of Climatology see many indicators of a possible epic winter to come but lest we jinx it, will just mention that briefly.
All OTI Officials are now asked to gradually filter back here to assume their duties as the season rolls on.No hurry, we are on Island time here,whenever.
Once we get everybody back we will all toast at the Coconut Lounge for a winter we will remember for many years to come.

Docstox
Director Of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
October 9 Anno Domani 2023

I have checked the stock of medical supplies and ordered additional items to be delivered by November 1st. I ordered extra ice packs and aspirin as we used quite a bit for hangovers last winter. Hopefully we won't need them, but always good to be prepared.

Dunnzoo wrote:I have checked the stock of medical supplies and ordered additional items to be delivered by November 1st. I ordered extra ice packs and aspirin as we used quite a bit for hangovers last winter. Hopefully we won't need them, but always good to be prepared.

OTI is in capable hands, Janet, with you in charge of this.Welcome back and looking forward to a safe and healthy season! Anything you need I will fast track it to cut red tape.Perhaps we can speed up admissions to the Sanitarium of patients who are suffering from acute disappointment when a projected snowstorm veers away at the last minute.I am hoping this will be minimal but one can never tell!I can set up a staff room for you here at the Sanitarium where you can organize a team for this project.
See you at the Coconut Lounge for the opening party!!!

Good to see the island is slowly re-opening. I can report that it was a slow tourist season at the Hall of Justice. Not a single tour group came through. But we were doing some re-painting and masonry work so it's probably best. Hope to see activity pick up here, particularly at the Coconut Lounge as we head into what will hopefully be a long, interesting, winter of weather.

billg315 wrote:Good to see the island is slowly re-opening. I can report that it was a slow tourist season at the Hall of Justice. Not a single tour group came through. But we were doing some re-painting and masonry work so it's probably best.  Hope to see activity pick up here, particularly at the Coconut Lounge as we head into what will hopefully be a long, interesting, winter of weather.

Good to hear from our Excellence!! As we head for our first snowstorm on the Mainland with the model mayhem, tours will be booked solid, my good man! Glad to see maintenance work being done on the Hall, it was in need after the last hurricane that came through the island recently.I've got to get to the various sectors to assess damages and organize repairs before we get into full swing.

The OTI Bureau of Tourism has sent me a report at Parliament indicating a slight uptick of "nervous Nellie" visitors from the Mainland who are experiencing anxiety and concern that absolutely no snow has occured as of this late date,Nov 30!I am directing them all to the Sanitarium for a seminar on the Winter of 1960-1961, which started with a blast on Dec. 11,1960 with 20 inches in NNJ, a 15 day consecutive stretch of sub freezing temps in January with a 15 inch snowstorm and finally, a major snowstorm of 20 inches plus Feb3-4.After the seminar, I will lead the group myself to the Coconut Lounge for "liquid" therapy , and restore their hopes and spirits before sending them back to the Mainland.

docstox12 wrote:The OTI Bureau of Tourism has sent me a report at Parliament indicating a slight uptick of "nervous Nellie" visitors from the Mainland who are experiencing anxiety and concern that absolutely no snow has occured as of this late date,Nov 30!I am directing them all to the Sanitarium for a seminar on the Winter of 1960-1961, which started with a blast on Dec. 11,1960 with 20 inches in NNJ, a 15 day consecutive stretch of sub freezing temps in January with a 15 inch snowstorm and finally, a major snowstorm of 20 inches plus Feb3-4.After the seminar, I will lead the group myself to the Coconut Lounge for "liquid" therapy , and restore their hopes and spirits before sending them back to the Mainland.

Doc??  Doc??  Is that you?  I was pretty sure I heard his voice.




Maybe Ill just leave him a note....




Dear Doc,

I regret to inform you that unfort back on the mainland I have come across some troubling information regarding very specific factors that might lead to a lack of white for at least the next few weeks of December.  This may lead to a fairly rapid and robust arrival of those seeking sanitarium from the cruel and unjust world that seems to have become the mainland in recent years during the winter months.

I see on the board on the wall that there is a seminar scheduled some time in the near future followed by a trip to the Coconut lounge after.



If at all possible either during the seminar, or perhaps once every one has had an appropriate beverage at the Coconut lounge after, you can assure the masses that it's still very early and there are still multiple positive things on the wind that can lead to a very fun filled Xmas and New Years and beyond.  

I appreciate all the time you and some of the others put into keeping this place operational, esp after that radiation disaster, for it has most certainly proved to be an invaluable asset for many over the past few years.  Hopefully I will see you back on the mainland more often than not but may be forced to join you and the others here for refreshments. Time will tell.

Cheers,
Scott aka sroc aka Doc

sroc4 wrote:

docstox12 wrote:The OTI Bureau of Tourism has sent me a report at Parliament indicating a slight uptick of "nervous Nellie" visitors from the Mainland who are experiencing anxiety and concern that absolutely no snow has occured as of this late date,Nov 30!I am directing them all to the Sanitarium for a seminar on the Winter of 1960-1961, which started with a blast on Dec. 11,1960 with 20 inches in NNJ, a 15 day consecutive stretch of sub freezing temps in January with a 15 inch snowstorm and finally, a major snowstorm of 20 inches plus Feb3-4.After the seminar, I will lead the group myself to the Coconut Lounge for "liquid" therapy , and restore their hopes and spirits before sending them back to the Mainland.

Doc??  Doc??  Is that you?  I was pretty sure I heard his voice.




Maybe Ill just leave him a note....




Dear Doc,

I regret to inform you that unfort back on the mainland I have come across some troubling information regarding very specific factors that might lead to a lack of white for at least the next few weeks of December.  This may lead to a fairly rapid and robust arrival of those seeking sanitarium from the cruel and unjust world that seems to have become the mainland in recent years during the winter months.

I see on the board on the wall that there is a seminar scheduled some time in the near future followed by a trip to the Coconut lounge after.



If at all possible either during the seminar, or perhaps once every one has had an appropriate beverage at the Coconut lounge after, you can assure the masses that it's still very early and there are still multiple positive things on the wind that can lead to a very fun filled Xmas and New Years and beyond.  

I appreciate all the time you and some of the others put into keeping this place operational, esp after that radiation disaster, for it has most certainly proved to be an invaluable asset for many over the past few years.  Hopefully I will see you back on the mainland more often than not but may be forced to join you and the others here for refreshments.  Time will tell.

Cheers,
Scott aka sroc aka Doc

   

It is an honor and a privilege, Doc to have , you visit here and I will be sure to have Damian set aside a special stool at the bar for your use only , when you come to visit.
Yes, I decided to do that seminar as early visitors were grumbling and complaining about the slow progress of the snow chances on the Mainland to date.The seminar helped somewhat but the trip to the Coconut Lounge did the trick when the visitors all got cockeyed and we sang songs like "Let It Snow" and "Baby, it's Vlod outside"
You can see by the state of mind of these visitors, lack of snow was the furthest thing from their minds:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0RCJfezPZA

Your positivity at this juncture ,when it is not even winter, is a lesson that will be memorialized and taught at the OTI Sanitarium
We at OTI stand ready to serve the Mainland in their coming time of need which we both know will surely happen , as a snowstorm veers East or West.

Docstox
Director Of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
December 1 Anno Domani 2023

A noticeable increase in despondent snow loving Mainlanders arriving the past few days with the Pac Jet assault wiping out any snow chances for the forseable future.Parliament is now debating our illustrious Treasurer's Bill 12262010, the formal changing of the seasonal names "winter" to wing and 'fall" to "wall". I may be incorrect in this terminology here but the good CP will correct that.
The issue is that misfortune on the Mainland is good fortune here at OTI , as revenues and sales taxes increase substantially.For that, we of OTI thank you with all of our hearts!
The Coconut Lounge is now in full swing with live entertainment every night.We have this week, in a nod to our beautiful beaches in Sectors 1-5, The Beach Boys, or what remains of them. Next week arriving will be Dave Dendrite and the Snowflake Five.Keep an eye out for future acts!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
December 12 Anno Domani 2023

docstox12 wrote:A noticeable increase in despondent snow loving Mainlanders arriving the past few days with the Pac Jet assault wiping out any snow chances for the forseable future.Parliament is now debating our illustrious Treasurer's Bill 12262010, the formal changing of the seasonal names "winter" to wing and 'fall" to "wall". I may be incorrect in this terminology here but the good CP will correct that.
The issue is that misfortune on the Mainland is good fortune here at OTI , as revenues and sales taxes increase substantially.For that, we of OTI thank you with all of our hearts!
The Coconut Lounge is now in full swing with live entertainment every night.We have this week, in a nod to our beautiful beaches in Sectors 1-5, The Beach Boys, or what remains of them. Next week arriving will be Dave Dendrite and the Snowflake Five.Keep an eye out for future acts!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
December 12 Anno Domani 2023

Hey Doc.  Im wondering if you could add this phenomenal Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers cover band to the line up?  I think a certain someone might need them to be regulars if you know what I mean.  Perhaps a weekly gig, a steady stream of coconut rum punch, and a VIP reserved seat in the corner with the initials C. P. C. M. S. carved into the seat so there's no confusion as to whos seat it is?  

Ive seen them several times myself and they are amazing I assure you.  The lead singer looks and sounds uncannily similar to Mr Tom Petty himself.  Anyway I believe they call themselves:

Warm Wetty and the Heart Wakers

ADVISORY OPINION
BILL 12262010
Upon legal review the changing of the names of Winter and Fall to Wing and Wall is an act that is well within the OTI parliamentary powers.  As there is no official outline of the parliamentary powers, and little to no existing case-law to guide such reviews, and frankly an overall "fly by the seat of our pants" approach to much of the governance of this island, we can see no prohibition on such an action.
However, we do make the following suggestions. We move for striking Winter from the seasonal names, but not Fall.  Fall should remain as a distinct season (one the is very popular due to beautiful foliage, pumpkin spice, and pleasant days with chilly evenings).  Wall should commence around the typical start-time of the season formally called "winter" and should end in mid-January.  Wing should then commence in mid-January and extend to the beginning of official "Spring" in March.
This will avoid any confusion and will increase the number of seasons from four to five (Spring, Summer, Fall, Wall, and Wing).  This will give people an extra option in choosing their "favorite season" (a boon for free-expression) and allow candle makers to expand their line of seasonal scents and clothing retailers an additional season to sell seasonal wardrobes (a boon for commerce).
This opinion is Advisory-only and not intended to hold binding legal precedent. Any additional legal advice on this measure can be sought via formal request at the Hall of Justice that is now decorated for Wall.
Signed,
BillG315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

sroc4 wrote:

docstox12 wrote:A noticeable increase in despondent snow loving Mainlanders arriving the past few days with the Pac Jet assault wiping out any snow chances for the forseable future.Parliament is now debating our illustrious Treasurer's Bill 12262010, the formal changing of the seasonal names "winter" to wing and 'fall" to "wall". I may be incorrect in this terminology here but the good CP will correct that.
The issue is that misfortune on the Mainland is good fortune here at OTI , as revenues and sales taxes increase substantially.For that, we of OTI thank you with all of our hearts!
The Coconut Lounge is now in full swing with live entertainment every night.We have this week, in a nod to our beautiful beaches in Sectors 1-5, The Beach Boys, or what remains of them. Next week arriving will be Dave Dendrite and the Snowflake Five.Keep an eye out for future acts!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
December 12 Anno Domani 2023

Hey Doc.  Im wondering if you could add this phenomenal Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers cover band to the line up?  I think a certain someone might need them to be regulars if you know what I mean.  Perhaps a weekly gig, a steady stream of coconut rum punch, and a VIP reserved seat in the corner with the initials C. P. C. M. S. carved into the seat so there's no confusion as to whos seat it is?  

Ive seen them several times myself and they are amazing I assure you.  The lead singer looks and sounds uncannily similar to Mr Tom Petty himself.  Anyway I believe they call themselves:

Warm Wetty and the Heart Wakers

Your wish is my command Doc!
So it will be written in Parliament.....so it will be done!
I wholeheartedly agree and I am sure the person we are both thinking of WILL be highly pleased!

billg315 wrote:ADVISORY OPINION
BILL 12262010
Upon legal review the changing of the names of Winter and Fall to Wing and Wall is an act that is well within the OTI parliamentary powers.  As there is no official outline of the parliamentary powers, and little to no existing case-law to guide such reviews, and frankly an overall "fly by the seat of our pants" approach to much of the governance of this island, we can see no prohibition on such an action.
However, we do make the following suggestions. We move for striking Winter from the seasonal names, but not Fall.  Fall should remain as a distinct season (one the is very popular due to beautiful foliage, pumpkin spice, and pleasant days with chilly evenings).  Wall should commence around the typical start-time of the season formally called "winter" and should end in mid-January.  Wing should then commence in mid-January and extend to the beginning of official "Spring" in March.
This will avoid any confusion and will increase the number of seasons from four to five (Spring, Summer, Fall, Wall, and Wing).  This will give people an extra option in choosing their "favorite season" (a boon for free-expression) and allow candle makers to expand their line of seasonal scents and clothing retailers an additional season to sell seasonal wardrobes (a boon for commerce).
This opinion is Advisory-only and not intended to hold binding legal precedent. Any additional legal advice on this measure can be sought via formal request at the Hall of Justice that is now decorated for Wall.
Signed,
BillG315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

This has now been fully examined by yourself and found to be proper governance . We can now fully proceed on these matters in Parliament and pass them once we have our esteemed treasurers feedback on the matter.I am sure he will wholeheartedly agree with your logical analysis and proposal , dear Chief Justice, and I as Director of Parliament, will expedite passage and inclusion into OTI Law.
Thank you for your service and time on these pressing and highly important matters!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Dec .12 Anno Domani 2023

docstox12 wrote:

billg315 wrote:ADVISORY OPINION
BILL 12262010
Upon legal review the changing of the names of Winter and Fall to Wing and Wall is an act that is well within the OTI parliamentary powers.  As there is no official outline of the parliamentary powers, and little to no existing case-law to guide such reviews, and frankly an overall "fly by the seat of our pants" approach to much of the governance of this island, we can see no prohibition on such an action.
However, we do make the following suggestions. We move for striking Winter from the seasonal names, but not Fall.  Fall should remain as a distinct season (one the is very popular due to beautiful foliage, pumpkin spice, and pleasant days with chilly evenings).  Wall should commence around the typical start-time of the season formally called "winter" and should end in mid-January.  Wing should then commence in mid-January and extend to the beginning of official "Spring" in March.
This will avoid any confusion and will increase the number of seasons from four to five (Spring, Summer, Fall, Wall, and Wing).  This will give people an extra option in choosing their "favorite season" (a boon for free-expression) and allow candle makers to expand their line of seasonal scents and clothing retailers an additional season to sell seasonal wardrobes (a boon for commerce).
This opinion is Advisory-only and not intended to hold binding legal precedent. Any additional legal advice on this measure can be sought via formal request at the Hall of Justice that is now decorated for Wall.
Signed,
BillG315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

This has now been fully examined by yourself  and found to be proper governance . We can now fully proceed on these matters in Parliament and pass them once we have our esteemed treasurers feedback on the matter.I am sure he will wholeheartedly agree with your logical analysis and proposal , dear Chief Justice, and I as Director of Parliament, will expedite passage and inclusion into OTI Law.
Thank you for your service and time on these pressing and highly important matters!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Dec .12 Anno Domani 2023

I do appreciate the chief justices time as well as yours, Director of Parliament, putting this bill on the fast track to passage.

I would like included in the bill, the hard dates I originally set up when I created the seasons of Wall and Wing. Wall begins on December 1 and ends January 31. Wing of course immediately follows beginning February 1 and ends March 31.

I know there are those who may argue, well what about the solstice and the equinox, to them I say F the solstice and the equinox. Fall will now end on November 30 and spring will begin on April 1.  When you show me and prove to me that winter actually exists, which of course we all know it doesn't, then prove to me the solstice and equinox actually exists. If the Earth is flat, as many of our greatest minds, beginning with Kyrie Irving have theorized, there could be no solstice or equinox. So we may want to add to this the high probability that the earth is flat. Parliament may want to take up this subject matter in the January sessions.

In conclusion, I wish a happy Wall season to everyone on OTI. As usual, there will be threats of snow, an advancing MJO to nowhere, stratoshpheric warming that actually leads to things getting warmer instead of colder, and other nonsense letters and numbers published to make the gullible in our society believe that winter and snow still exist. Oh, there may be a day or two here and there, but that my friends is not winter, winter no longer exists, and it has not for several years. The sooner everyone accepts this and stops putting their faith in false gods like the AO and -NAO the happier we will all be.

CPcantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

docstox12 wrote:

billg315 wrote:ADVISORY OPINION
BILL 12262010
Upon legal review the changing of the names of Winter and Fall to Wing and Wall is an act that is well within the OTI parliamentary powers.  As there is no official outline of the parliamentary powers, and little to no existing case-law to guide such reviews, and frankly an overall "fly by the seat of our pants" approach to much of the governance of this island, we can see no prohibition on such an action.
However, we do make the following suggestions. We move for striking Winter from the seasonal names, but not Fall.  Fall should remain as a distinct season (one the is very popular due to beautiful foliage, pumpkin spice, and pleasant days with chilly evenings).  Wall should commence around the typical start-time of the season formally called "winter" and should end in mid-January.  Wing should then commence in mid-January and extend to the beginning of official "Spring" in March.
This will avoid any confusion and will increase the number of seasons from four to five (Spring, Summer, Fall, Wall, and Wing).  This will give people an extra option in choosing their "favorite season" (a boon for free-expression) and allow candle makers to expand their line of seasonal scents and clothing retailers an additional season to sell seasonal wardrobes (a boon for commerce).
This opinion is Advisory-only and not intended to hold binding legal precedent. Any additional legal advice on this measure can be sought via formal request at the Hall of Justice that is now decorated for Wall.
Signed,
BillG315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

This has now been fully examined by yourself  and found to be proper governance . We can now fully proceed on these matters in Parliament and pass them once we have our esteemed treasurers feedback on the matter.I am sure he will wholeheartedly agree with your logical analysis and proposal , dear Chief Justice, and I as Director of Parliament, will expedite passage and inclusion into OTI Law.
Thank you for your service and time on these pressing and highly important matters!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Dec .12 Anno Domani 2023

I do appreciate the chief justices time as well as yours, Director of Parliament, putting this bill on the fast track to passage.

I would like included in the bill, the hard dates I originally set up when I created the seasons of Wall and Wing. Wall begins on December 1 and ends January 31. Wing of course immediately follows beginning February 1 and ends March 31.

I know there are those who may argue, well what about the solstice and the equinox, to them I say F the solstice and the equinox. Fall will now end on November 30 and spring will begin on April 1.  When you show me and prove to me that winter actually exists, which of course we all know it doesn't, then prove to me the solstice and equinox actually exists. If the Earth is flat, as many of our greatest minds, beginning with Kyrie Irving have theorized, there could be no solstice or equinox. So we may want to add to this the high probability that the earth is flat. Parliament may want to take up this subject matter in the January sessions.

In conclusion, I wish a happy Wall season to everyone on OTI. As usual, there will be threats of snow, an advancing MJO to nowhere, stratoshpheric warming that actually leads to things getting warmer instead of colder, and other nonsense letters and numbers published to make the gullible in our society believe that winter and snow still exist. Oh, there may be a day or two here and there, but that my friends is not winter, winter no longer exists, and it has not for several years. The sooner everyone accepts this and stops putting their faith in false gods like the AO and -NAO the happier we will all be.

CPcantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler

Dear Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler and OTI Treasurer,

Your amendments to the Bill being crafted in OTI Parliament will be added precisely as you stated since you are the creator of the Wall and Wing Theory.The Earth is Flat Theory will be discussed in a separate bill come January as attaching this to the Wall and Wing legislation may wind up in a Filibuster at Parliament and we do not want the Wall Wing Bill held up in any way.

As far as the analysis of "Fall" and "Winter" weather on the Mainland, perhaps reflect upon the fact that the anxiety and disappointment the various models cause with the crushing of hope for snow lovers on the Mainland, helps revenue here at OTI as these despondent Mainlanders come to OTI to assuage their pain and misery with multiple sessions on snowcoholic therapy at the OTI Sanitarium ( CHA-CHING) and many rounds of alcoholic beverages at the Coconut Lounge.Rentals of beach umbrellas and blankets also skyrocket as well as the OTI tourist trap trinket shops.It actually may behooves us to ENCOURAGE the modeling on the Mainland as it benefits OTI in many forms of revenue.
As Treasurer, perhaps you can use your outstanding statictical analysis skills to determine OTI revenue vis a vis amount of Mainland Weather Modeling so we can ascertain how our revenue streams are affected.
I also extend a happy Wall Season to everyone, Mainland and here at OTI, where the sun always shines and the libations never cease to flow!

Docstox
Director of OTI Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium

Going back into hibernation.

I never should have set foot on the Mainland. All well intentioned good people but, I set foot on there for one day and they start to extrapolate out things that could be, might be, should have been etc, in 24 hours they almost had me believing winter does it exist, when I know in my heart it doesn't.

I believe in the Wall
I am one with the Wing
Belief in Winter causes pain
Only sorrow it will bring

I shall repeat that 1999 times tonight and make sure I make an appointment at the Sanitarium tomorrow. Doc always has the answers.

Note to Billg and Doc, after we pass the Wall/Wing bill I would also propose any use of the word winter or snow, unless used in the past tense in references to the period before 2022 be punishable by immediate deportation, whether the perpetrator is an OTI citizen, tourist, Director, or Chief Justice.