OT: "Off-Topic Island"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBkYN7wYQFk

A song dedicated to the NAM, EURO and GFS and what they did to me as per our recent storm.

Nailed to strategic coconut trees throughout OTI...


A PROCLAMATION

I, Docstox, one of the Founding Fathers and leader of OTI Parliament to hereby declare the month of February to be FKMAM, or Former King Mugsy Appreciation Month, in recognition of the amazing 6 weeks of snow he produced in the 6 weeks of Jan-Feb 2014 and for bringing Queen Star , Amber and June to OTI resulting in an amazing increase of Tourist Visa Income and an overflowing of the OTI Treasury which will, no doubt, be used in various philanthropic endeavors to aid and help humanity in the realm of weather phenomena.


Recognized and passed by OTI Parliament this 28th day of January, Anno Domani 2015


The OTITT ( Oti Think Tank) is perusing the creation of the OTIRMTMI, or OTI Re-Model the Models Institute for the fine tuning of our current weather models.

Dear Mainland Tourists,

Thank you for pushing our visitor totals here at OTI above the 6000 mark.

I had thought the recent pre-occupation with the dramatic improvement in the winter weather situation for mainland areas would completely shut down the Bureau of Tourism and Immigration but here we are still registering guests.

All mainlanders, please enjoy your wonderful cold and snow ,but if you need a break from the model madness, just check in to one of our many friendly and funny venues we offer here at OTI.

docstox12 wrote:Well, (Former) King Mugsy, when life hands you lemons...make lemonade.With no statue now, you won't have to worry about pigeons pooping on your head.

"Into every life a little snow must fall......in this storm's case, VERY little."

Ahh yes Sir Doc so true. And CP thank you for taking care of my statue since it will hopefully be brought out this month in great honor for snowstorms to come, Doc the proclamation I can not be of more honor to my good men for this.

Dr. Miller B and Star ?? CP what did you do? I blame you my good man for letting this beautiful, no gorgeous lady fun away from you at a most precarious time - how could you do this to us and look at what we all got - UNGATS!!! UGGHHH!! Amber and June will not ever leave or side or bed for that matter. Something internal strife CP? There has to be some reason? Was it the island coconuts? What does Dr. Miller B have over you my good man?

I hope she comes back to find that DR Miller B id=s a shaman, swindler, two face no good nonpracticing quack!

Well it is time for me to go get some rations for me and the girls with this incoming storm so we can be warm and cozy in bed the next few days!!

Ah, yes, Mugsy, warm and cozy!!!!

And for CP, the way this storm is going, if I was still living in Mahwah, there is no doubt I would be hearing that old ,familiar tune on the radio, the one I heard so many times living there in winter snowstorms, "Mixing in Mahwah" by Lorraine aka Rainee and the Sleettones"

And who is this sad sack, sorrowful SOB that came up with the term "warm nose?" The only thing I know who has a warm nose is a dog , and that's when it's sick, not a snowstorm.If this guy was here right now, I'd say to him..."You want a warm nose, I'll give you a warm nose,Jack! I'm going to stick yours in my toaster and turn it up full blast. How's THAT for a warm nose, you Capo de chooch!!"

End of rant.

Doc and Mugs.

Good posts, funny and poignant, some serious subjects were covered but with dashes of humor to try and keep the mood light here which is why we all come here.

I for one am exhausted from the ups and downs of the last several storms. Of course more exhausting are my battles with NOAA and the pernicious one who we all know as the zookeeper.

Speaking of whom I would like to put a bill before Parliament to strike the word Zookeeper from any OTI documents or to be spoken in public. I'm not trying to go all Taliban here, but the word brings up many bad memories for me and as the Director of the Treasury I feel I am owed that. For anyone that chooses to reference the incompetent boob with the ruler, I propose that on OTI he may only be referenced as "the half wit in the zoo". Now I realize this may be insulting to half wits but PC is not something we adhere to on OTI. We are a more libertarian mind set here, as example our clothing optional beaches where men must stay covered and I our liberal drug laws which we passed last year allowing the smoking of banana peels in public places.

In closing citizens of OTI I will be locked away for the next two days in clothing optional budget meetings with Queen Star. Should my bill not pass you can all go to hell. I joke of course.

Carry on.

I understand "the half wit in the zoo" reference, but maybe we could call him The Repeekooz, which is Z------r, spelled backwords, so as not to instill a negative reaction.

I will rubber stamp this bill right away as we here at parliament share your sentiment on the Z------r.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evT1FzBh3mo

Here is CP and a fellow OTI citizen in the OTI Jail where CP wound up after people around him said "Zookeeper" ( substitute "Zookeeper" for Niagara Falls.) All you gotta do is say Zookeeper to CP!!!!

Just saw that Doc, hysterical, I remember it well.

Stinky was still my favorite recurring character in that show.

Yes, CP, as we blast past 6100 visitors and approach 6150. CHA CHING!

Yes, the beloved Joe Besser in a great role as Stinky.Thought he was much better doing that than when they made him a Stooge after Shemp died in 1955.Joe just didn't click with Moe and Larry IMHO

CP mentioned on a mainland thread this upcoming snow event is like spinning a wheel.

Found this for you CP, right out of what could have been my Dad's 1950's record collection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeIce5NsWKk

Holy crap Doc, that's even before my time.

I couldn't have lived then, as much as I dislike rap music that stuff from the 40's and early 50's is almost as grating to me. Just not my cup of tea.

Did someone ban Snow Man from OTI? Was his hollowed out log vandalized? Is he persona non grata here and I haven't been informed?

I've still never seen Snow Man and Queen Star in the same place at the same time. Since we don't really know what Snow Man looks like, he's becoming more like a Sasquatch figure around here than an actual founding citizen, whose to say he's not Snow Woman? Food for thought.

CP,

He is occaisionaly on the mainland but has not visited OTI in quite a while and I am wondering why myself.He has absolutely not been banned from OTI, in fact, his status here is of a founding father! I'm sure he will return when he realizes that true Snow Weenies belong here  first and foremost.

Now, as far as the HV getting that 8 inches plus.I think there might be a shot if the nowcast goes our way.Even with the slopathon NWS predicts, we still get 2 to 4 so the snow totals in the HV will be ever closer to that 50 inch new average.

How's that for making lemonade out of lemons?

If you can break away from Queen Star for just a moment, you will notice the visitor registry is almost 6200.Can we at parliament have a complete accounting of where the treasury stands on the OTI surplus? I may be in contact with Janet Yellen on helping to support the US deficit by purchasing dollars using our surplus banana based currency.Think of the status we will have on the mainland then!

Winter weather terms and phrases I have come to hate...

1) Graupel

2)Wintry Mix

3)Warm Nose

4) Warm air advection

5) Friggin' Miller B

6)Not A Model

7)Dry slot

8)OTS

9)Slow moderation

10) Official measurement at Central Park

11) Compaction

CP, I'm sure Taffy will renounce her loyalty to the Red Sox as soon as you do yours to the Yanks and me to the Mets. So you see, we have a checkmate here and it should all cancel out.

Anyone who can make me laugh like Taffy deserves honorary citizenship.I am open to the length of time of that visa.

Perhaps the discussion will be moot because once Taffy reads this entire thread, she may run out screaming and waving her arms like that scene form "The Blob" 1958 with the people running out of the movie theatre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqZ86pJkz-M

Renounce the BoSox? huh!


Line up guys!

Taffy wrote:Renounce the BoSox? huh!


Line up guys!

CP, the butt crack of a snowman.

This girl is priceless, I'm telling ya!!!!

Welcome Taffy and you hit the ball out of the park with your 1st post here.
Doc as part of a OTI once had been KING I request that Miss Taffy or MT is granted a semi-permanent Visa. I will let the girls know that she is not a threat to their domain. Now back to cleaning the ice that I have on my rink with my son.

OTI men and now woman (singular) Queen Star has proclaimed February the OTI Snow Month for she has said that we will see much more snow this month than all combined. No she is not in BASTAN but lying her on my couch - woo hooo warm and cozy!! STAR passes her best wished to you Doc and heard about your fall and also said if you need I can send her over to help put a pep back n your step if you need. WOW she is a life savior to our island and winter!!

Parliament grants Taffy semi-permanent Visa as per former King Mugsy's request and by virtue of her amazing sense of humor which will only help OTI revenues in mainlanders wishing to come here to entertain themselves.

Queen Star and her retinue have done more for OTI than we all could hope for.

May Queen Star's February snow wish be so.

docstox12 wrote:

Taffy wrote:Renounce the BoSox? huh!


Line up guys!

CP, the butt crack of a snowman.

This girl is priceless, I'm telling ya!!!!

This picture alone grants her permanent visa status here. She may register to become a citizen depending on how the Thursday night and Saturday possibilities shape up.

Mugsy if you touch Queen Star in any inappropriate ways our friendship is over.

Welcome Taffy, I knew you had OTI written all over you from your first post.

Thank you denizens of OTI. I read the entire thread. Impressive. Coconut and banana currency also makes a fabulous pie. As far as "clothing optional", although I do have a lovely bunch of coconuts, I will be remaining clothed in the best clothes banana's can buy. One question, Who's King?

Taffy,

So glad you decided to post after reading the entire thread of lunacy which is OTI.One thing, though, this is where the laughs are!

You see how versatile our currency is? You can use it to purchase other items or eat it.Can't do that with mainland dollar bills!

Will pass commenting on your coconuts but at this point, we have a Queen and not a king.Mugsy was King Snow Weenie during that amazing stretch of snow we had last Jan-Feb but lost his crown after the snow suppression disaster of Feb-Mar 2014 and then the December 2015 snow drought.

I am leader of Parliament here and CP is Treasurer.Mugsy is Director of Immigration and Tourism.We have a missing Founder of OTI, SNOW, whom CP has organized search parties on the entire Island looking for.I fear either foul play or complete loss of allegiance and defection to the mainland.A tragedy,mind you, and it weighs heavy on my heart.Anyhoo.....

Let us know where your talents lie and we will certainly appoint you to a position of respect and importance on our wonderful island.

Dated February 11 Anno Domani 2015

Chancellor of Parliament

Docstox

I would like to thank all of our Mainland visitors for pushing the total visits here past 6400.I know, I know, it's a train wreck here but a lot of you just have to watch it,LOL!

I will keep this brief because you Mainlanders have a lot on your hands right now processing the monumental amounts of information coming in concerning the record cold spell and two snowstorms pending, but we at OTI have endeavored with every fibre of our beings to create a "home away from your Mainland home" where you can set aside the cares of snowstorm busts, warm noses , slopification and OTSism.

Here is a place where you can set aside your weather model weariness and just enjoy serenity and laughter.

Oh, and on your next visit to OTI, consider a visit to our newly opened Boxing Day Bistro, where the drinks shower down like the snow did in the NYC area that day!

Good to be back on the island. Where there is peace, tranquility,serenity and no mega posting allowed.

As the mainlanders debate another storm that will tease most of us with tantalizing possibilities and I fear disappointing results I come here to walk our Sandy beaches, greet newcomers, "welcome Taffy, please send all hammock complaints to our head of Parliament. Last I heard they were on a ship stuck in the Strait of Magellan".

Sorry for the distraction but as budget director I have to greet the citizenry. Lovely girl that Taffy, with a great pair of coconuts.  I guess she just picked them from one of Snowmans trees.

Speaking of Snow Man I have confiscated all his possessions since his rejection of his heritage. I vote we either auction them off or just give them to our new citizens.  I find it odd that as a founding father he would abandon his homeland. He can try to fit in with the mainlanders but snowman is no mainlander, his OTI accent gives him away. When he does try to return, like the tale of the prodigal son this tale may not end so merrily.

Back to business. During my budget meeting last night with Queen Star I suggested we change the name of this thread from "snow weenie king queen will mugs retain his crown" to "Off Topic Island, will mugs ever visit". I know he's a big shot moderator on the mainland now but remember your damn roots boy. So you're not king anymore so what. You saved our island by bringing aboard imaginary females, no offense queen star, and we now have a live female on the island. You are still a legend and you are the acting director of tourism and immigration. Remember where you we born and raised. Don't be so seduced by the mainland like snowman that you forget your roots.

So parliament head Docstox I place before you a bill to change our name to "Off Topic Island" which has been our unofficial name from the beginning with subtitle " will Mugs and Snowman ever return". There should be no costs involved as none of our fruit based currency is engraved. I anxiously await Paliaments vote.

I unanimously and whole heartedly agree with your resolution on the re-naming procedure.

Mugsy does make an effort to visit us now and then and therefor retains his OTI Citizenship.As far as SNOW goes, I'm afraid he has finally abandoned our Island and has renounced his OTI Citizenship.I would ask you for one more weeks latitude so I can go out and nail a proclamation to prominent coconut trees imploring and begging SNOW to return to OTI , even for a perfunctory visit, to maintain his citizenship status.After the week is up, Parliament will grant you powers of confiscation, seizure, and auction.If it gets to that point, I suggest we use the proceeds to help establish Taffy's domicile here on the Island.That is, if she doesn't change her mind and abandon us.

The warm sun and sand beckon, Queen Star is in her hut, revenues are pouring in from Tourist Visa Taxes and all is right with our Island of Peace and Tranquility.

I will send out a carrier pigeon to try and intercept that tardy freighter carrying those back ordered hammocks you mention.They fail to respond to my radio requests.

If you can find someone technically capable of executing the changes in our mainland tourist guide, please let me know.I, Docstox, have only the talent for running Parliament and lifting spirits via comedy and cannot make the change from "Snow Weenie" to "OTI"!

Lady and Gentlemen,

I have been back and forth on the island under the secrecy of the night as to not disturb the OTI residents who may still have ill feelings towards me. Until that dam statue is erected on the fine sandy beaches I must be incognito and look like Elvis so as to throw the people off. Some have even asked me to sign them a tune or two! CP, stop stirring up the locals and queen star can very well be the title of this thread and description. I know my roots and have I let you down my good man? If so my sincere apologies and I WILL ALWAYS BE AN OTI citizen even if I get higher status to this wonderful family board. SNOW MAN needs a reprieve for I see him having difficulties with his business. We shall grant him this extension and hopefully he shall return. Taffy and her cocunuts , so she says they are nice but I need proof, shall become a citizen as Doc has discussed. BUT as part of the new OTI initiation there must be some form of evidence that gives them this privilege so each shall be handled separately.

These snow storms have been difficult BUT we have had our good share so far since the most lovely Queen Star graced us with here royalty and I took one for the team and stepped down without incident or bloodshed I might add (CP!!!!!!!). So I will always be an OTI man and shall be here more often as my time will permit.

Doc and Cp keep up the most excellent work and Taffy welcome aboard young lady - you will find this place remarkable in all aspects.

I am sincerely flattered to have been asked to be a citizen of this fabulous island. I am a bit confused as to Mugsy post concerning handling my coconuts. Do you mean each coconut separately? Because that's the only way you could. I think of SNOW MAN as the Knight Templar of this little island and sincerely wish he was here.  I need a dragon slayed by Tuesday.

Taffy, please consult "coconut handling" in the OTI rules and regulations for Citizenship, page 38, paragraph DD to answer this vexing question.

SNOW MAN is a founding father of the Island and Mugsy feels an extension of more time should be granted in order to allow him to conduct his mainland business and make a visit here again. Please weigh in on this decision as CP has confiscated SNOW's worldly possessions here and wants to auction them off.I would grant SNOW more time as would Mugsy.What say ye? I'm sure your request for dragon slaying would be taken up forthwith and carried out to your satisfaction.

I have issued a Parliamentary Pass in your name which gives you access to all government offices, free transportation on the Burro jitney service and free lodging wherever you decide to stay.