OT: "Off-Topic Island"

Here you go, Janet!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r97Nv8N7-mI

The first full day of spring on the mainland brings the one year anniversary of freedom from mainland rule here on OTI.

Put down the coffee and put the lime in the coconut, grab your OTI flag and join us today in a lavishly decadent OTI celebration. Festivities begin today at noon and will not end until the queens snow bikini melts. Actually festivities will continue  long after it melts.

Please BYOB, food and fireworks. OTI will supply the sand, sun, and our very friendly natives. Please don't go to close to Snow Man he's been having difficulty adapting back to Island life after a failed attempt to make it on the mainland. Our prodigal son returned but in a bad mood.

No word yet from his ex highness now moderator Mugs but I'm sure he will be on hand to say a few words. As always our head of Parliament the good doctor will be speaking and speaking and speaking some more.

Please see Taffy if you do not have a flag to wave during the reenactment of the battle of the threads. It was this conversation that led Emperor Frank to finally banish a loquacious bunch of renegades to an empty thread in the middle of cyber space. In time this tiny thread has grown into one of the most popular hot spots in our cyber world. Enjoy your stay here but remember anyone without a legal visa who stays past midnight will be suspended from visitation privileges until next years party.

Let the day begin.

I could not sleep all night long due to the excitement at the upcoming festivities of OTI's Independence Day and this incredible write up by our beloved Treasurer CP has fanned the flames even more.I will now refine all the speaches I have prepared honoring and extolling our beloved Island, the oasis of calm in the sea of Mainland Madness.

What an incredible year it has been! Just the fact that our beloved and benevolent Emperor Frank would allow the creation of OTI boggles the mind.Little did he know that he helped to create a utopia where mentally exhausted Mainlanders could come for rest and rehabilitation.Benevolence is the undercurrent flowing through OTI, our former SnowWeenie King Mugsy graciously abdicating his throne and giving control of "Snow Creation" to our beloved Queen Star who has done a magnificent job producing incredible amounts of snow on the Mainland, particularly on Sir Sroc's Estate to pacify and recognize his wisdom in pulling back his Naval Invasion Fleet during the Turmoils of Early Winter, indeed a brief dark period in OTI's history.

The election of Taffy to full citizenship is a very fortunate turn of events for OTI.Taffy is a fine lady of great wisdom and intelligence who has abundant creative genius in coming up with our National Anthem and Flag.

From Former King Mugsy's wise choice of Queen Star and her cohorts, our Statistical Genius Treasurer,CP, reports record revenues from tourist visas.

Your beloved and dedicated servant of OTI, Docstox, will be spending the Independence Day touring the Island and meeting the various tourists, giving impromptu speeches extolling the virtues of OTI.

PS....To Tourists visiting today, attending any of the numerous seminars I am giving today allows you to write off the cost of your trip to OTI today!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRQ1zWfa9wc

At great expense and much time in planning, I bring to the celebrants of OTI Independence Day, the following.....

Scheduled for this evening on OTI commencing at 9PM this company will be doing a similar show in celebration of our Independence Day!

docstox12 wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRQ1zWfa9wc

At great expense and much time in planning, I bring to the celebrants of OTI Independence Day, the following.....

Scheduled for this evening on OTI commencing at 9PM this company will be doing a similar show in celebration of our Independence Day!

Fabulous fireworks display Doc.    

I'm sure you bankrupt the OTI treasury with this splendid display but it was well worth the cost. Independence should be celebrated without regards to how many coconuts and bananas are spent. Some things all the fresh fruit in the world can't buy and Independence is one of them.

Please let's all now stand for the OTI Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to OTI
of the Off Topic Island Republic
and to the Knight Templar Snow Man
Who abandoned us all
One Island formerly under Mugs
With Docstox heading Parliament
and ruled by Queen Star
With CP in Treasury and Taffy for all

Amen

And now let us close with the OTI national anthem as performed by it's author Tammy.
Please feel free to sing along and when you do, think about the meaning of the words to this our sacred song.

Brother bought a coconut
He bought it for a dime.
His sister had another
She paid it for the lime.

She put the lime in the coconut
she drank them both up.

she put the lime in the coconut
she called the doctor, woke him up, and said
"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"
I said, "Doctor ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

Now let me get this straight;
You put the lime in the coconut
You drank them both up
You put the lime in the coconut,
You drank them both up
put the lime in the coconut,
you drank them both up
put the lime in the coconut,
called your doctor, woke him up, and said,

"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"
I said, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take"
I said, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink them both together,
put the lime in the cocount, then you'll feel better.
Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning."

Brother bought a coconut
He bought it for a dime.
His sister had another
She paid it for the lime.

She put the lime in the coconut
she drank them both up.
she put the lime in the coconut
Called the doctor, woke him up, and said
"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"
I said, "Doctor ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, "Doctor"

Now let me get this straight;
You put the lime in the coconut
You drank them both up
put the lime in the coconut,
You drink them both up
the lime in the coconut,
you drink them both up
you put the lime in the coconut,
you're such a silly woman,
put a lime in the coconut,
and drink them both together,
put the lime in the coconut,
then you'll feel better.
put the lime in the coconut,
drink them both down,
put the lime in the coconut,
and call me in the morning

God Bless OTI and God bless us all everyone

Thank you all for joining us as we close out Independence Day on OTI.
We don't have an official count yet but many are estimating the attendance
today at our celebration to be near double digits.
Please everyone swim or boat home safely.

This is CP CantMeasure Snow, the OTI Director of the Treasury
Wishing a happy Independence Day to all, and to all a goodnight.

Parliament ratifies the OTI Pledge of Allegiance and National Anthem as well as Taffy's first flag submission.OTI"s first Independence Day was a rousing success with throngs of Mainland visitors flocking to the Island for relaxation and enjoyment after a very long and anxiety inducing stretch of winter weather tracking.Yes, CP, every bannana/coconut spent on the fireworks display was worth it to demonstrate to the Mainlanders the depth of emotion of the Founders on this Independence Day.The fireworks were a metaphor for the exuberant depth of love and loyalty we have for OTI.

My Mainland contacts inform me all arrived safely back, albeit some quite inebriated from coconut wine, and report a good time was had by all.

OTI anticipates a final surge of visitors as the winter weather pattern appears to be continuing on the Mainland for another week or so.Our newly created Independence Day Planning Board Authority will begin some rough sketches to plan next years celebration.We are thinking of creating floats for a parade down the main paths of OTI.Stay tuned.......

Ah yes, the high point of OTI's year has just been achieved with the Independence Day celebration of yesterday over.Shortly, as the mainland model madness of winter fades rapidly from the onset of Spring weather, tourist visa applications will drop off precipitously and with the tourist, so will our Citizens CP and SNOW, the "Boys of Winter" disappear into their mainland villas or become unreachable here in their OTI abodes.I know former King Mugsy will occasionaly touch base and it remains to be seen how the newly elected Citizen Taffy remains in contact here at OTI when the Mainland Beaches open with the warmer weather.

As such, it will be up to myself, docstox12, as in all of last Spring, Summer and Fall to keep the ball rolling here with Parliament and also to provide entertainment for any stray tourist that may wander out of curiosity to OTI.

As this incredible winter of tracking storms ends, we at OTI thank Emperor Frank and his cohort of weather analysts for inducing mass hysteria and anxiety in the Mainland population who follow winter storms and as a result of their concomitant mental breakdowns, flocked to OTI for rest and rehabilitation thereby providing our treasury with a massive surplus!

You will be seeing fewer and fewer posts by myself as the warmer weather draws nigh, but always remember, dear patrons of OTI, in life, it's quality that matters not quantity.

Signing off for now, yours truly, Docstox....March 23 Anno Domani 2015.

My dearest OTI folk,

I CA not believe it has been one full year since the Emperor Francisco granted us this space so we can so eloquently admire this temporary sanity we all yearn for during the doldrums of winter. I for one am truly grateful to our original founders Doc, Cp, Snow and our newest member Taffy for keeping it light and humurous. As ex King Snow Weenie I am so thrilled of the celebrations the masses took part in and tremendous job with our flag Taffy and Dic spectacular fireworks, Macy' s eat your heart out as well as Chinatown! !
It has been an unbelievable year of ups and downs but the ups total outweigh the downs. Queen Star, Taffy becoming a cituzen, CP fanning the flames of drama and eloping with the queen, Amber and June and their cohorts, Snowman coming back from his long journey and rehabilitating the log house, the OTI anthem, SROC calling of his invasion and then recording more snow than anyone on the board, it is just a flood of great memories. I pledge my allegiance to the most wonderful land of OTI and will forever stand up for it and everything about it.
Now where the hell is that statue of me and when the hell are you going to finally erect it in the nation's square??
Carry on my good people for I will tour sectors 5 through 7 this spring to see how our people are making due their. Last year there was some strife in these parts so I want to be on hand for a smooth transition as we do with our seasons. God Bless you all and Thank you for making this land so remarkable.

Ex Snow King
Mugsy and his two lovely mates June and Amber

Since NOAA fixed the snow totals from three snow events that many of us believed were under-counts and since CP was the one who encouraged us to send the emails, what should CP's position be upgraded to here on OTI?

Math23x7 wrote:Since NOAA fixed the snow totals from three snow events that many of us believed were under-counts and since CP was the one who encouraged us to send the emails, what should CP's position be upgraded to here on OTI?  

I'm thinking nothing less than "Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler" will do.

I will leave it up to the citizens of OTI to decide, but should they refuse I have stockpiled pebbles, tree branches, and fists full of sand from the last border skirmish and I will not be afraid to use them if need be.

As always

Your friend

CP Cant Measure Snow
OTI Director of the Treasury (for now)
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler (for later)

Parliament ratifies your extra title of "Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler". This title will be in addition to your Director of Treasury title so upon retirement from OTI service in 20 years, you will draw two coconut/bannana pensions.

This extra title was ratified instantly when all Parliament members tuned into the Mainland Channel 7 and saw the great and powerful Lee Goldberg mention that the snow totals at CPK were UPPED as a result of comparing to "adjacent areas".This is entirely the result of Citizen CP's incessant efforts at contacting the Mainland weather authorities indicating this shortfall.We on OTI are in awe of the power of CP in this matter and will commission a committee to construct a statue of CP to be erected in front of our Parliament Building.The statue of former King Mugsy is currently in storage and may be brought out and installed at a later date if he was ever re-instated and produced major snowfall.Stay tuned on that.

The Central Intelligence Agency of OTI now has teams searching for the Zookeeper to arrest him for the crime of significant undermeasurement of snow, International Code 46.89, Subchapter Weather, Page 16 "Penalties for snow undermeasurement by certified weather authorities.He will stand trial in OTI Superior Court upon his capture.I have authorized the purchase of 5 white wigs like they use in the English Courts , for myself, Mugsy, Taffy, CP and SNOW, for us to wear as judges at this trial.I have been mesured so you other folks need to go to the OTI Wig and Uniform store on 16 Palm Frond Lane to get measured.

docstox12 wrote:Parliament ratifies your extra title of "Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler". This title will be in addition to your Director of Treasury title so upon retirement from OTI service in 20 years, you will draw two coconut/bannana pensions.

This extra title was ratified instantly when all Parliament members tuned into the Mainland Channel 7 and saw the great and powerful Lee Goldberg mention that the snow totals at CPK were UPPED as a result of comparing to "adjacent areas".This is entirely the result of Citizen CP's incessant efforts at contacting the Mainland weather authorities indicating this shortfall.We on OTI are in awe of the power of CP in this matter and will commission a committee to construct a statue of CP to be erected in front of our Parliament Building.The statue of former King Mugsy is currently in storage and may be brought out and installed at a later date if he was ever re-instated and produced major snowfall.Stay tuned on that.

The Central Intelligence Agency of OTI now has teams searching for the Zookeeper to arrest him for the crime of significant undermeasurement of snow, International Code 46.89, Subchapter Weather, Page 16 "Penalties for snow undermeasurement by certified weather authorities.He will stand trial in OTI Superior Court upon his capture.I have authorized the purchase of 5 white wigs like they use in the English Courts , for myself, Mugsy, Taffy, CP and SNOW, for us to wear as judges at this trial.I have been mesured so you other folks need to go to the OTI Wig and Uniform store on 16 Palm Frond Lane to get measured.

Doc I am both humbled and laughing hysterically as always.

I am looking forward to to the zookeepers trial, partially because I want to see him or her finally brought to justice for crimes against Snowmanity but also for the opportunity to wear a wig. For the follicly challenged like myself that would be the answer I have been searching for since the first follicle failed me. However I would like my wig in light brown, the same color as those that have jumped ship. I know it goes against custom but as the "Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler" I believe my requests supersede custom.

Thank the Parliament for me, their swift action under your judicious leadership has again avoided twig and sand wars on our Island paradise.

"Snowmanity"        Hilarious!

Yes, CP, get measured for your judgement wig and pick any color you wish.

I pause in humble adoration at the skyrocketing Tourist Visa Count which has blasted up to 8070 in my two day absence of attending to the various needs of elderly family members on the Mainland.I will authorize a transfer of funds from the treasury to the OTI Wig and Uniform shop to pay for the "Judgement Wigs" at the Zookeeper's Trial in OTI Superior Court whenever the OTI CIA agents we have dispatched catch up with the slippery so and so.I'm sure he has taken it on the lam after the Goldberg broadcast announcing his serious crime by Violating International Statutes of snow measurement by significantly undermeasuring snow at CPK possibly for nefarious purposes.

Well, the disappearance of SNOW, Taffy, Mugsy and soon to be CP either to their Mainland Villas or deep within the jungle sectors of OTI as the winter winds down just proves the point I made in earlier posts.I will stand alone in maintaining correspondence from OTI lest we lose our credentials with the mainland Empire.I would warn those individuals I named that they had better maintain postings THROUGHOUT the Spring, Summer and Fall lest I become tempted with megalomania and seize total control of this island, disband Parliament and work out an agreement with Emperor Frank for total provincial control.I then will be the one to name this Island!!!!!!!!CP, SNOW, Mugsy and Taffy... you have been advised!!!!! I will let 60 days go by and see what happens by July 1st!!!!

Doc, you have full control. Congrats.

Thank You, Emperor Frank for your vote of approval.I will give the rest of the Citizens of OTI that 60 day period where they had better post something here at least once a week.Should they fail to do so,I am disbanding parliament and instituting a benevolent Dictatorship, subservient to your Authority as always, Emperor Frank.The posting count begins this day, April 2nd, Anno Domani 2015.

I just had a nice long reply to this and lost it in my F@ng I phone. Will attempt again tomorrow. To late and pissed off now.

You beat 2013-14 Doc and as the late Jerry Garcia would say what a long strange trip it's been. Weird winter up here but overall OKay.

CP
Grand high exalted mystic ruler
Director of the Treasury.

I will accept this as a Citizen Of OTI posting for the week of April 1st.

There had better be at least one more next week and then one for each of the weeks up to June 1st.

As you see above, the Emperor Himself has sanctioned my possible move to be Dictator For Life.The Citizens of OTI merely have to post as above and the Island will remain as is now!

Frank_Wx wrote:Doc, you have full control. Congrats.

With all due respect I object oh great one.

Since we have now entered the off season on OTI everything on the Island is now half price until the season heats up again October 15th. Please keep in mind our currency is strong right now but it does spoil if left out in the sun to long.

We are also putting Snow Mans Hollowed out log back on the auction block. With one visit to the island in the last 3 months his citizenship is also under review.

Sincerely

CP CantMeasure Snow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury OTI

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

Frank_Wx wrote:Doc, you have full control. Congrats.

With all due respect I object oh great one.

'The Great and Powerful Frank has spoken!"

Nothing at all will change on OTI Citizen and many titled CP......as long as you post once every week for the next 60 days!! Should there be one lapse, just one, I will seize total control as per Emperor Frank's sanction.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Since we have now entered the off season on OTI everything on the Island is now half price until the season heats up again October 15th. Please keep in mind our currency is strong right now but it does spoil if left out in the sun to long.

We are also putting Snow Mans Hollowed out log back on the auction block. With one visit to the island in the last 3 months his citizenship is also under review.

Sincerely

CP CantMeasure Snow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury OTI

Come October 15th, The OTI Board of Citizenship will review all data concerning all Citizen participation. Decisions will be made at that time for rescinding OTI Citizenship.

The first step in this pending offseason will be a complete inspection of OTI infrastructure to determine the amount of wear and tear that has ensued as a result of massive tourist traffic from the  Mainland especially concerning the Independence Day Celebrations.You, Director of the Treasury, will then allocate our currency reserves to "bannana ready" projects.

A full listing of infrastructure needs will be posted in two weeks.

Over and out....Docstox

Director of Parliament

I'm still not sure I can live under this threat of a Dictatorship even thought it is promised to be a benevolent one. Those have worked out very well over time, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Castro, Pol Pot, Hugo Chavez, Hitler, Most of the Caesars, ISIS.

During my meeting last night with the Queen I drew up separation documents for the Island. People cannot be forced to post without representation. What's next forcing citizens to post certain topics? And of course then the inevitable you must post topics but under this ideology? No thank you Doc. Give me the right to not post or give me death.

Happy Easter to All, or are we not allowed to celebrate Easter here on occupied OTI?

CP CantMeasure Snow
Grand high exalted mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury.

Happy Easter to all of our past tourist Visitors from the Mainland.

Stay tuned for the infrastructure inspection report to follow in approximately two weeks.

OTI remains in it's recent form and probably will so.

I ask for another Citizen Vote in determining if I take control of the Island in 60 days with Emperor Frank's approval.So far, I have one "yes' (myself) and two "no" , CP, and the Queen. This is my last request for this action.If I am voted down, I will resign myself to mundane governmental duty via Parliament and will not bother the Citizens again!

That's 3 No votes Adolf, Taffy already Cast a no vote when this first came up. Your only hope for a tie is Mugs and Snow Man. Good luck with the Snow Man vote , if the polls stay open for 6 months you may have a shot otherwise you're toast.

Is it so bad being Director of Parliament and having to be elected? Let's face it you always run unopposed. Plus we all enjoy your late spring/summertime soliloquies as you play Tom Hanks role in Castaway. BTW Wilson also votes No, that's 4-1 election over.

I believe it's time we put together a committee for the 10,000th visitor party. Perhaps snow man, taffy and mugs could be on the planning committee? By the time they all read this we may be approaching that 10,000th visitor.

I will accept the inevitable and rescind my request for Benevolent Dictator For Life.Apparently the Citizenry is mistrusting of my motives and is comparing me to horrible individuals who succumbed to megalomania and led their populaces to ruin and poverty.Far be it from me to instill these fears and, as such, OTI will remain exactly the same as it is now, I totally accept that concensus and close the voting to get the matter behind us.

Yes, we are approaching the amazing milestone of the 10,000 visitor on OTI but I think the rate of accrual towards that goal will slow somewhat as the Tourist Season here is winding down after the hectic Mainland Winter season.As such, there will be plenty of time for planning the monumental celebration.

As mentioned above, I will begin infrastructure inspections of the Island after the heavy Mainland Tourist traffic this season as we must keep our Island in tip-top shape.The reserves are there in the budget surplus for repairs.Of course, I will submit a list of repairs i consider necessary for Citizen and Parliament approval.

Docstox, Director of Parliament

April 6 Anno Domani 2015

That's the point Doc.  You remain our benevolent head of Parliament and it's all good. Every position for life only invites abuse and eventually megalomania that's just human beings, very few can resist the evils that full unchecked power eventually bring. You could be that rare exception but why take the chance.

What we have to concentrate on now is the six-month search for snowman.

If my calculations are correct we should reach the 10,000 visitor sometime around Thanksgiving day next November. It's never too early to plan and the treasury is full so we shouldn't spare any expense for that inevitable day. I believe the celebration should be along the lines of the OTI Independence Day celebration only more elaborate.

I shall discuss with the queen and get her thoughts.

CP can't measure snow
Grand high exalted mystic ruler
Director of the treasury