OT: "Off-Topic Island"

Wait a minute. You've got nothing on me. She promised me she was 18, I only blacked out for....ummm.... no longer than one day and I'm positive there's a perfectly reasonable explanation why I woke up in a coconut bikini with those little drink umbrellas attached to the coconut shells.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

syosnow94 wrote:I would like to thank all of parliament and citizens of OTI for their mercy in my legal matter. It is with great humility I accept my fate and hope to return soon to help with the influx of mainlanders looking to escape the upcoming blowtorch. During my suspension I ask for 2 things.

First I ask for more tropical fruits and banned pharmecuticals from our director of parliaments' own private stash from his days as a mainland dentist. These will be put to good use as I experiment with different combinations on myself which will hopefully be used to treat our patients in a more "effective" manner.

Second I ask that our leaders enact a law permanently banning Jman from any visits or extended visas as he was trying to steal my post out from under me as I was involved in a hearing for my very OTI life. Very underhanded and deceitful. We need not this type of behavior on our glorious island.

Thank you in advance for your kindness Dear Director of Parliament and our Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Syo

I have dispatched our Chief Security Officer to Yonkers as soon as I saw this post.

It's one thing to turn down a chance at citizenship, something I'm sure he's regretting already, but it's a whole different ballgame to try and steal another mans occupation, especially a citizen and Director, even though said Director is currently under suspension for Springmongering. OTI is like a big family, we may squabble at times, there have been several civil wars throughout our history, but if someone outside the family does us wrong we always have each others backs.

Rest assured my suspended friend, Jman is going to have a little accident courtesy of the SNOWMAN when he steps out on the street tonight to enjoy these wind gusts he is so enamored of. It may be a stray coconut flying through the air on a gust of wind, or a kamikaze mango, banana, palm leaf or grains of sand but vengeance is mine saith the citizens of OTI and vengeance you my friend shall have. When SNOWMAN gets through with someone the fruit stains on their attire does not come out in the wash.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

Absolute genius and classic..."springmongering"..ROTFLMAO

Okay, I've been replaying the Coconut Lounge in my head over and over again and I can't remember a moment that I wasn't in full control of my faculties. I'm this close to calling "shenanigans".

Oh Aresian you rookie you. All first time visitors to OTI get" special "drinks I concoct with different color umbrellas so we know what's what. Then once the "drinks" kick in and the true personality comes out we can make an informed decision on the character of the individual. And I have to say you are quite an interesting cat. However a few items you had in your possession were red flagged by SNOW MANand we are currently doing background checks to properly vet you. You weren't as in control of your faculties as you think

If my true character comes out, I'm royally screwed. The only island I'd be fit for is Alcatraz.

TheAresian wrote:If my true character comes out, I'm royally screwed. The only island I'd be fit for is Alcatraz.

That entitles you to be considered for an executive position of some sort here on OTI my friend.As CP noted, you have OTI written all over you!!!

I love this place. It's the only place I know where the worse person you are, the better citizen you make.

TheAresian wrote:I love this place. It's the only place I know where the worse person you are, the better citizen you make.

Please don't misconstrue the moral fiber of OTI by the actions of our residents behaviors in the Coconut Lounge. The Coconut Lounge is a morality free zone on OTI as are the clothing optional beaches. All other areas of OTI we do expect a certain dignified code of behavior. I posted one of our historical documents in the Government and Historical docs thread that outlines some of the things frowned upon here. I have copied over that paragraph of the document below.

If you become a citizen here, there are also certain rules that must be adhered to. Most important is the no-mega-posting and no-weather related rules. If you want to talk about impending storms, past storms, near misses, slop storms, warm weather advection, virga, anti-virga, subsidence, dry slots, great lakes cutters, or any other subjects that can cause snowmania or snowpression than OTI is not the place for you.

As Doc stated I thought from the beginning you have OTI written all over you and I still do. Yes I saw all of the pictures SNOWMAN has in your file from the Coconut Lounge Friday night. Although they would have you excommunicated from almost any religion, including satanism and they allow just about anything, the Coconut Lounge as I stated earlier is a morality free zone so your behavior there will have no bearing on your application for citizenship.

As a side note, since viewing those photos I have had my mind bleached at the OTI Sanitarium. There are some things people shouldn't even do in a morality free zone and you certainly tested the limits. Thank God my bleaching session wiped most of what I saw from memory.

Should you apply you will have to adhere to the OTI vow of abstinence which in your case I have thought long and hard about. If approved you my Aresian friend will not be allowed to mention, think about, dream about, allude to, write of in any language while on the OTI thread how your beloved Painted Post is the snow hole for every possible snow storm known to humanity. Let me be clear, this only applies while you are on OTI, you can whine all you want on the Mainland threads just as I do about certain snow totals in a place that seems to always under measure but I am forbidden to discuss here.

Let me know if you are ready to apply and I will submit your application to Doc for Parliamentary approval.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury
Still the acting Director of Immigration and Tourism until Taffy returns

Believe me, if there exists a place where that doesn't get mentioned or even thought about, I'm happy to go there. I do have a question though. To get me through the long snowless summer, I recorded some footage from a rare steady snowfall on my phone. Am I allowed to watch that here or is weather porn not allowed?

TheAresian wrote:Believe me, if there exists a place where that doesn't get mentioned or even thought about, I'm happy to go there. I do have a question though. To get me through the long snowless summer, I recorded some footage from a rare steady snowfall on my phone. Am I allowed to watch that here or is weather porn not allowed?

THAT is totally allowed in fact, my Director of Mental Health will view that and see if it would be useful in the Sanitarium's therapy for Mainland unfortunates suffering from various snow deprivation maladies!!!

I was examining your notes on the citizenship test. Once upon a time, it required knowledge of the 16 pages that made up the history of OTI. However, since that time, the history has grown significantly. Are the original 16 pages still the mandatory history knowledge or have you raised the bar on required historical acumen?

TheAresian wrote:I was examining your notes on the citizenship test. Once upon a time, it required knowledge of the 16 pages that made up the history of OTI. However, since that time, the history has grown significantly. Are the original 16 pages still the mandatory history knowledge or have you raised the bar on required historical acumen?

In your case I think we can forgo the test. Like I said from the beginning you have OTI written all over you.

Even though my memory of the Coconut Lounge pictures is faded because of the Sanitariums memory bleaching, I seem to remember that you literally have OTI written all over you in places that it should not be. You might want to have those removed before your swearing in ceremony, provided you are approved by Parliament which I believe is a foregone conclusion

I Docstox, Director of OTI Parliament approve the Citizenship of The Aresian after a unanimous vote in Parliament of approval.His loyalty to OTI has been apparent for a while now.What goes on in the Coconut Lounge, stays in the Coconut Lounge. Our suggestion, as per CP's, to The Aresian is if there are any offending artifacts of the wild shindig that happened in the Coconut Lounge, that he should appropriately cover them with the proper clothing lest any tourists may become terrorized, flee the Island, and give us bad press back in the Mainland.

WELCOME TO OTI!!!

To all those involved with my obtaining citizenship on OTI, you have my deepest thanks. It is my honor to join this illustrious group and I promise to live up to the high standards of OTI. With regards to any incriminating OTI based markings I might have on my body, I promise to keep them covered everyplace but in the Coconut Lounge. As for the tourists, I think seeing me in all of my totally funny-drinked up glory is just what they need to let them know that what happens in the Coconut Lounge stays in the Coconut Lounge.

docstox12 wrote:I Docstox, Director of OTI Parliament approve the Citizenship of The Aresian after a unanimous vote in Parliament of approval.His loyalty to OTI has been apparent for a while now.What goes on in the Coconut Lounge, stays in the Coconut Lounge. Our suggestion, as per CP's, to The Aresian is if there are any offending artifacts of the wild shindig that happened in the Coconut Lounge, that he should appropriately cover them with the proper clothing lest any tourists may become terrorized, flee the Island, and give us bad press back in the Mainland.

WELCOME TO OTI!!!

As per Parliamnents vote the Aresian shall be written into the OTI historic thread as the first citizen in our third wave of immigrants.

Should a title follow and I'm thinking off the bat he should be considered as Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge, of course reporting directly to Doc, his title will then become official in the historic log.

I personally believe it is where our greatest sins are committed, whether in a morality free zone or not, is often the best place for that man or woman to seek redemption. In Aresians case his sins at the Coconut Lounge were to numerous to mention and I believe he even created some new sins never before known to modern man. This is why I believe he should begin his official duties in the place where it all began for him. I welcome all other opinions on this matter.

Oh wise and all knowing Treasury Director and Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler, your assignment of Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge for our newest citizen, fits his talents and personality perfectly.From his photograph , I can see he is an individual to be respected, and I am sure he will keep order in the Coconut Lounge,not excessively, of course, as we do not wish to make our morality free zone to constricted, but to ensure physical violence as a result of too many bannana Daiquiris or other of our delicious tropical alcoholic beverages from becoming dangerous.The Aresian will make a weekly report to me at the Parliament Building concerning the activity at the Lounge.

On another note, in prior years OTI was shut down for the April 1 to October 1 period, as tourist visits, and executive vacation, brought the Island to a standstill.We have not fully recovered from prior periods, as evidenced byt the loss of former King Mugsy, and the infrequent visits of Taffy and SNOW MAN.I would like all official OTI Titled executives to give serious thought as to whether the Island should continue throughout the FULL year or go on recess from April 1 to October 1,2017.I am willing to do my part in keeping the Island operating.Let's give this some thought the next 6 weeks.

It is quite clear that with no snow threats on the horizon over in the mainland, I have been acting in a frustrating way.  I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to heal through the forum and that is to check myself onto the OTI Sanitarium.

Three concerns with that include:

1) Are OTI government employees allows to enter the Sanitarium as patients?  It would seem very frightening to tourists to see their own leaders be admitted there.

2) What would be the timetable for recovery during my stay at the Sanitarium?  What would be the last resort if the mainland remains devoid of any snow threats in the long range?

3) Does Bananacare cover public servants?

To be honest, the blowtorch is quite depressing.  I hope back on the mainland March is a better story but there is no guarantee that will happen?

Math23x7
OTI Director of Technology

To our esteemed Math23x7, Director of Technology:

    While it may indeed seem peculiar to tourists that officials admit themselves as patients, it is to my mind a most respectable course of action. I freely admit that I am poorly learned in the matters of Snowpression, but surely our OTI Director of Mental Health can advise you on a treatment plan. While your concerns are being looked into and addressed, I strongly encourage you to visit the Coconut Lounge. There is, or was at least, a particularly potent cocktail with a little red umbrella in it leads to any number of things. And should any "situations" take place within the confines of the lounge, I assure you that I would testify on your behalf. Alas, I am unable to ensure that embarrassing photos will not be taken while you are there as island security ranks far above my station.

The Aresian
Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge

Math23x7 wrote:It is quite clear that with no snow threats on the horizon over in the mainland, I have been acting in a frustrating way.  I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to heal through the forum and that is to check myself onto the OTI Sanitarium.

Three concerns with that include:

1) Are OTI government employees allows to enter the Sanitarium as patients?  It would seem very frightening to tourists to see their own leaders be admitted there.

2) What would be the timetable for recovery during my stay at the Sanitarium?  What would be the last resort if the mainland remains devoid of any snow threats in the long range?

3) Does Bananacare cover public servants?

To be honest, the blowtorch is quite depressing.  I hope back on the mainland March is a better story but there is no guarantee that will happen?

Math23x7
OTI Director of Technology

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5z5j7CW64c

My good Man, this will help you maintain anonyminity at the Sanitarium.

b

Mikey Math. Now that my suspension is over I have the cure to what ails you. Check in. As Director of Mental Health on OTI I PROMISE You won't be disappointed even though you may never check out.

Also dear ruler I say yes to keeping OTI open during the "off season". As always I will do my best to continue contributing to our wonderful island. I've actually convinced several women in their 20's and 30's (plus a couple in their 60's for you and CP ) to consider permanent residence in the Cicunut Room where they will become our bartenders and food servers while wearing traditional OTI garb which as you know is clothing optional.

B

B

b

B

So I get to be responsible around women in their 20s and 30s in a clothing optional morality free zone? Dayumm... talk about finding redemption at the site of your greatest sins.

TheAresian wrote:So I get to be responsible around women in their 20s and 30s in a clothing optional morality free zone? Dayumm... talk about finding redemption at the site of your greatest sins.

Dear Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge:

The many benefits of Citizenship and Executive Position of OTI are now readily apparent!

Director of Parliament
Director of the OTI Sanitarium