OT: "Off-Topic Island"

I was sent here on a diplomatic mission, but I have so come to love the Coconut Room that I hereby formally request and apply for citizenship. Or in lieu of citizenship at the very least refugee status from the mainland as temperatures soar toward the 60s today.

billg we expect a huge influx of Mainlanders as a result of the squashed snow threat and mild temperatures the next week or so.Perhaps we can utilize your fondness for the Coconut Room is establishing a conduit to direct Mainlanders upon their arrival assisting in changing their "frame of mind".Please advise...

I would be more than happy to greet the Mainlanders and direct them to the Coconut Room. I can also inform them of the diverse and lengthy drink menu which should take their minds off the lack of snow and balmy spring temperatures on the Mainland.

billg315 wrote:I was sent here on a diplomatic mission, but I have so come to love the Coconut Room that I hereby formally request and apply for citizenship. Or in lieu of citizenship at the very least refugee status from the mainland as temperatures soar toward the 60s today.

Anyone trying to flee the god awful next two weeks of January imitating early April cannot be denied at least an extended Visa. If we could find the director of Tourism and Immigration Taffy who seems to have run off with Snowman I might even recommend Billg for expedited citizenship. If Taffy is not found in the next month perhaps weatherwatchermom can take her place? Although I'm not sure if she has visited OTI.

OTI is not for everyone and once we complete the wall it will be for elite snow lovers only. No one who has ever pined for rain, warm weather, spring or any other disgusting season will be allowed to set foot on OTI once the wall is completed. Of course since Math has now taken possession of the entire OTI treasury the wall may never see the light of day.

I am:

CP Cantmeasuresnow
OTI Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

Mainlanders dreading the thought of surviving two weeks of above normal temperatures are already making inquiries as of today according to the interim chairperson installed when Taffy went missing a while ago.If any body knows of her whereabouts on OTI, I would be grateful for their informing me because the influx of Mainlanders stands to be incredible.Perhaps your theory of her and SNOWMAN running off is not so far fetched after all.In any case, we need immediate help.

I am sure Math can be convinced in his philanthropic spirit to make a sizable contribution to the Make OTI Swell Again Fund for construction of the wall you mention.I question, though, the veracity of interrogation necessary to ascertain the status of a said Tourists elite snow loving status.

Thought I'd pay a visit to this wonderful island. A place where only the good hearted and snow people reside. A hearty hello to all. Solid folks indeed. Sadly the land looks like it's in a state of decrepit depression. Furnace in full blast. Frosty the Puddle. Maybe somebody in charge can conjure some homemade Baileys Fast.

Does Mugs have ties to Putin? I still support Mugs. He can still carry the people to the promised land

Welcome back Grselig!!

Yes, the OTI Meteorological Institute considers (former) King Mugsy's long range forecast for a positive February and March very seriously.Since we have his statue in storage, only after massive cleansing of various Island Bird droppings, it can be replaced to its former position at any time and if (former) King Mugsy produces as per his Feb-Mar forecast, I am sure Parliament will vote unanimously for the re-instatement of the King.

By Parliamentary Proclamation

January 12 Anno Domani 2017

docstox12 wrote:Welcome back Grselig!!

Yes, the OTI Meteorological Institute considers (former) King Mugsy's long range forecast for a positive February and March very seriously.Since we have his statue in storage, only after massive cleansing of various Island Bird droppings, it can be replaced to its former position at any time and if (former) King Mugsy produces as per his Feb-Mar forecast, I am sure Parliament will vote unanimously for the re-instatement of the King.

By Parliamentary Proclamation

January 12 Anno Domani 2017

Oh wise Doctorstox, is there any way that our disgraced (potentially) King can rescue his crown by means of bribery and other unscrupulous methods?  Anything is legal if it is approved by Parliament. According to Bob Dylan "anything is legal in New Jersey as long as you don't get caught."

Grselig, currently, the OTI Treasury is controlled by Math 23x7 and I can not get my hands on adequate funds to grant your wish.there is barely enough to run the Island.However, I advise you to go short bannanas and coconuts because I have a nefarious plan to transfer Math's( based on bannanas and coconuts) wealth back to the Treasury!! Stay tuned!!!!!

Thank you Sir. I will indeed short bananas and coconuts. What about mangos? Long live the Treasury!!!!

I don't believe the funding for this Wall needs to come from the OTI treasury or from Math. I suggest we build the wall and make the Snow-haters pay for it themselves.

how can they afford it? They spent all their money on space heaters and sun lamps

Can't the treasury just decide to print more money. Inflation be damned.

Believe me, they'll pay for the Wall. I promise you that.

Can the Island confiscate their property and sell it at a massive discount?

Perhaps. Parliament should discuss this possibility

Excellllenttt

Grselig wrote:Can't the treasury just decide to print more money.  Inflation be damned.

Grselig, please learn about the Island you profess to love. The OTI treasury is strictly coconut and banana based, how can we print more fresh fruit?

Thundersnow (Grselig) did mention mangos though, perhaps we should just change our currency to Mango based? Personally I've never cared for coconuts, and bananas I can take or leave. This will of course leave Math destitute but he's a reasonable sort and I believe he will go along with what's best for the OTI masses.

As the Director of the Treasury I will put a bill before Parliament to change to a mango based currency effective immediately.

OTI is back in business and the wall is back in our budget.

I am:

CP Cantmeasuresnow
OTI Treasury Director
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

OTI Parliament, of course, will take Bill 007 , abandon coconut/bananna based currency upon reccomendation of the Director of the Treasury very seriously.An Island wide reforrendum will be instituted on this with the OTI Citizens having feedbak on this important matter.An Island wide tv broadcast from the Coconut Room will be done with noted monetary authorities giving their opinions on the matter.An area in the Parliament Building would be set aside where citizens could bring their coconuts and bannanas in for exchange to mango at the currency rate that would be set.

I, Docstox, Director of Parliament , myself agree wholeheartedly with the Treasury Director in this matter but for the sake of Democratic Parliamentary procedure, will let the Bill 007 wind its normal way through the usual channels.To think this critical and important issue was conceived and put into action in our very own Coconut Room Lounge leaves me with a feeling of awe and wonder of our amazing Island.

Just a thought here dear leader.

Maybe we should skip the mangos altogether and go straight to cows. Yes cows as currency. Old fashioned barter system. My intel tells me that hardcore members of the global warming argument have suggested that an increase in the amount of cows in the middle of the United States is partly responsible for an increase in methane gas being released into the atmosphere. This is an actual argument that has been presented. The cows eat too much grass which in turn makes them flatulate too frequently. This problem could be solved if we trade and barter the cows then slaughter them saving our planet from more horrible methane gas intrusion. As an added benefit it may actually help our dear friend CP finally leave the sanitorium as he realizes that avg. temperatures on the mainland have stabilized.

Your suggestion in solving the "crappy" problem of above normal temperatures will be taken up in Parliament my good man.

We have a major influx of Mainlanders heading our way with these springlike balmy temperatures and the faint wisp of hope of a coming pattern change.Should that pattern change ensue, I am sure OTI will return to a more normal schedule and your proposal can receive the proper Parliamentary attention as cow flatulance should!

The Treasury Director, albeit unknown to himself, is being observed by Sanitarium staff who I have placed in strategic OTI and Mainland spots to observe his behavior, as we are quite concerned with this abnormally above normal mild spell on the Mainland coupled with continued snow undermeasurment at Central Park.

Interesting. I like a good steak. Dry aged porterhouse. But can those unfortunate people without massive sized pockets carry around cows for trade. Too big for our youngsters. However, maybe young calf will do. Veal is still a delicacy.

The OTI Sanitarium ,in it's never ending quest to bring the best of care to snow deprived thaw hating Mainlanders wishes to announce the addition to the staff of the world's noted authority on coping with Snow Derangement Syndrome, Dr ScHmaLtzY lAuLer aka Dr PHil LAuler.The doctor will be presenting the following courses to patients in the Great auditorium of the Sanitarium:

1_Using cats to forecast long term trends in winter weather.
2) "How I use bizarre typing patterns to alter stratospheric conditions"

Any patients interested in attending these lectures, which will undoubtedly be rapidly filled, should immediately contact me at my OTI address.

That is all
Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium

The Professor's genius shall not be denied.   It is a well known fact that the esteemed professor has used cats to predict the now famous winters of 2025 and 2019.  These will have been hated by the weasely warm weather lovers for centuries.  A bust of her guessed likeness has been carved in Mt. Waxino.  I for one have signed up numerous times under various aliases to attend the blessed seminars.

ThundersnowGRS AKA Grselig AKA a guy who just wants a HECS

Meow.

syosnow94 wrote:Just a thought here dear leader.

Maybe we should skip the mangos altogether and go straight to cows.  Yes cows as currency.  Old fashioned barter system.  My intel tells me that hardcore members of the global warming argument have suggested that an increase in the amount of cows in the middle of the United States is partly responsible for an increase in methane gas being released into the atmosphere.  This is an actual argument that has been presented.  The cows eat too much grass which in turn makes them flatulate too frequently.  This problem could be solved if we trade and barter the cows then slaughter them saving our planet from more horrible methane gas intrusion.  As an added benefit it may actually help our dear friend CP finally leave the sanitorium as he realizes that avg. temperatures on the mainland have stabilized.  

How can we run an imaginary cyber based island, run by a retired dentist, with an imaginary queen that runs around in a snow bikini, an exiled king that couldn't make it snow, a head of security in exile, a Director of immigration that hasn't set foot on the island in over a year, a grand high exalted mystique ruler with a zookepper obsession and illegals that seem to come and go, gres (thundersnow), billg, math, syos, with no regard to imaginary borders, if we make ridiculous suggestions like a cow based currency? Honestly!!

I am:

CP Cantmeasuresnow
OTI Director of the Treasury (2nd term)
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler