OT: "Off-Topic Island"

billg315 wrote:Thank you doc. It is a great honor to be granted citizenship and this prestigious position. I hope my selection is ratified by all members of the island.

Attorney General Billg, your citizenship and election to Attorney General was ratified unanimously by Parliament in a special early morning session.I will meet you at the Parliament Building forthwith to give you a tour and show you your office and staff that has been prepared for you in your pending case.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium

1:46 AM, January 16 Anno Domani 2017

Billg and Gres Thundersnow:

Welcome fellow citizens and congratulations. Before your swearing in ceremony, please memorize the OTI Pledge of Allegiance. And as you burn these words into the deepest recesses of your brain, dwell on their deep meaning and remember the sacrifices of those that came before you, to make OTI what it is today.

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to former King Mugs
And the Queen he bequeathed
One Island Directed by Doc
Indivisible except by CP
With Snowman and Taffy for all

Amen

My stay at the Sanitarium should be over shortly, and I'm hoping to be up and of sound mind again and attending your swearing in ceremonies whenever Doc sets the date and time.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Billg and Gres Thundersnow:

Welcome fellow citizens and congratulations. Before your swearing in ceremony, please memorize the OTI Pledge of Allegiance. And as you burn these words into the deepest recesses of your brain, dwell on their deep meaning and remember the sacrifices of those that came before you, to make OTI what it is today.

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to former King Mugs
And the Queen he bequeathed
One Island Directed by Doc
Indivisible except by CP
With Snowman and Taffy for all

Amen

My stay at the Sanitarium should be over shortly, and I'm hoping to be up and of sound mind again and attending your swearing in ceremonies whenever Doc sets the date and time.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

My Good Man CP, the best news I have heard this morning is your rapid recovery and early dismissal from the OTI Sanitarium.Your mind appears to be as sharp as a tack and the Island needs you now more than ever with the massive award from Attorney general Billg arriving shortly.Proper disbursement of the award to the needs of OTI (please keep the Hammock Funding initiative in mind).I n your hiatus at the Sanitarium we have added two very valuable Citizens to our Island.Tourist visas and visits have skyrocketed this past week, not only with the Mainland sinking into a mild/snowless pattern, but with the exciting developments concerning your ongoing struggle with the Conservancy at the Mainland in undersnowmeasurement.Why even noted Mainland Meteorological authorities are jumping into the fray supporting your argument, atorch you have been carrying mostly alone these many years.

I am arranging with the OTI Broadcasting Network to set up broadcasting from Parliament for the day of Billg and Grselig Citizenship swearing in ceremony.The entire OTI Parliament will open the ceremony by standing and reciting the OTI Pledge of Allegiance and then proceeding to the ceremony itself.Internet broadcasting worldwide will be able to be accessed on www.OTI.com.I have been approached by noted Attorneys worldwide who have read Billg's legal brief and were amazed at the crafting and execution and have expressed a desire to meet with our new Attorney General.

My good men, it is an honor and the pledge has been memorized and tattooed. The colors and lifeblood of OTI are now a part of my soul. It is wonderful news that the release of CP has happened. The world order led by OTI is indeed taking place. With such strong leadership growth and prosperity is not when but now.

Attorneys in my newly created office are currently researching and preparing legal memos for me on the Constitutionality here on OTI of using what some may refer to as "extreme" methods - I prefer "Enhanced interrogation and persuasion methods" - with the Zookeeper and his Conservancy brethren should they be captured and forced to provide depositions in this legal action.

My God man, not Snowboarding!!!!!!!!!! Utterly barbaric. Wonderful idea!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol. Snowboarding indeed!

billg315 wrote:Attorneys in my newly created office are currently researching and preparing legal memos for me on the Constitutionality here on OTI of using what some may refer to as "extreme" methods - I prefer "Enhanced interrogation and persuasion methods" - with the Zookeeper and his Conservancy brethren should they be captured and forced to provide depositions in this legal action.

Attorneys??

Attorney General Billg, you've been on the job 1 day and you have an office full of attorneys? There are currently 8 legal citizens of OTI, Docstox, myself, Mugs, snowman, Taffy, Math, you and Thunder snow. Other than you none of these citizens to my knowledge are attorneys so I assume you are using illegals. Please explain how these attorneys got over the border and who vetted them?

In regards to your enhanced interrogation questions please use the guidelines used by Snowman during his interrogation of Math regarding the Torch Mongering scandal. Snowman went overboard and there is a warrant out for his arrest, however since Snowman is OTI security there is no one to apprehend him. Had Snowman stuck to the original guidelines for OTI interrogation he would not be a fugitive.

In summation, sand in the face, forced tanning and mango boarding are legal and encouraged . Sand in the face with eyes opened, forced tanning beyond three hours and extreme mango boarding are and always will be illegal. Carry on and keep up the good work, and please have your attorneys register with Immigration asap.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

billg315 wrote:Attorneys in my newly created office are currently researching and preparing legal memos for me on the Constitutionality here on OTI of using what some may refer to as "extreme" methods - I prefer "Enhanced interrogation and persuasion methods" - with the Zookeeper and his Conservancy brethren should they be captured and forced to provide depositions in this legal action.

Attorneys??

Attorney General Billg, you've been on the job 1 day and you have an office full of attorneys? There are currently 8 legal citizens of OTI, Docstox, myself, Mugs, snowman, Taffy, Math, you and Thunder snow. Other than you none of these citizens to my knowledge are attorneys so I assume you are using illegals. Please explain how these attorneys got over the border and who vetted them?

In regards to your enhanced interrogation questions please use the guidelines used by Snowman during his interrogation of Math regarding the Torch Mongering scandal. Snowman went overboard and there is a warrant out for his arrest, however since Snowman is OTI security there is no one to apprehend him. Had Snowman stuck to the original guidelines for OTI interrogation he would not be a fugitive.

In summation, sand in the face, forced tanning and mango boarding are legal and encouraged . Sand in the face with eyes opened, forced tanning beyond three hours and extreme mango boarding are and always will be illegal. Carry on and keep up the good work, and please have your attorneys register with Immigration asap.

Of course, my apologies Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler. I was so excited by the opportunity to hold the anti-snow heat misers at CPK accountable for their misdeeds that I brought on a team of first-rate attorneys to assist. I should have first consulted with Island Immigration regarding their TEMPORARY work visas.  These individuals are here solely for this project and then they will be returned to the mainland, unless they choose to apply for citizenship through the normal legal channels.  Also I have advised them to be on their best behavior while visiting the island.  No late nights at the Coconut Room followed by them staggering home.

This is probably a bad time to mention the two paralegals, secretary, law school legal intern, receptionist and lobby security guard I brought in as well.

billg315 wrote:This is probably a bad time to mention the two paralegals, secretary, law school legal intern, receptionist and lobby security guard I brought in as well.

As long as they go through the proper legal channels it's all good. We welcome legal immigration on OTI. Once you win the legal case we won't have to worry about illegal immigration because we'll have the money for the wall. Of course the wall would be an eye sore around all of the beaches so we may have to rethink that. Maybe a big moat with draw bridges to the beaches.

Who the hell opened the Island and didn't tell me about it? Did the Parliament have a really grand opening with coconuts and Mai Tai's for all?

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

billg315 wrote:This is probably a bad time to mention the two paralegals, secretary, law school legal intern, receptionist and lobby security guard I brought in as well.

As long as they go through the proper legal channels it's all good. We welcome legal immigration on OTI. Once you win the legal case we won't have to worry about illegal immigration because we'll have the money for the wall. Of course the wall would be an eye sore around all of the beaches so we may have to rethink that. Maybe a big moat with draw bridges to the beaches.

Just trying to brainstorm. What about an invisible wall. Now heat me out. On the mainland we have electronic walls to keep canines fenced in. What if we have crack scientists (meaning smart not addicts) figure out the frequency of the undesirables. An invisible electronic wall can then be constructed and the beautiful views preserved.

The invisible wall is intriguing. With ample water off-island, electrocution of trespassers should be easily accomplished. But I'm a little old fashioned so moats with draw-bridges appeals to me.

People are talking about enclosing OTI with a wall (whether or not we force someone else to pay for it). However, what me and my fellow citizens of this great island must understand is that eventually, we will be forced to expand. Once this thread hits 1100 posts, it splits in two and the old thread gets locked. That's just part of forum physics. The big question will be how we endure the expansion. And yes, by posting this, we inched even closer to that moment.

Math23x7 wrote:People are talking about enclosing OTI with a wall (whether or not we force someone else to pay for it).  However, what me and my fellow citizens of this great island must understand is that eventually, we will be forced to expand.  Once this thread hits 1100 posts, it splits in two and the old thread gets locked.  That's just part of forum physics.  The big question will be how we endure the expansion.  And yes, by posting this, we inched even closer to that moment.

Maybe one of our esteemed officials should create a position entitled "Secretary of Expansion" to investigate and report on the dilemma. Its time somebody drained the ocean. This will certainly create employment opportunities on OTI. As my high school political science teacher (now deceased) may have argued, physics were made to be broken.

Taffy wrote:Who the hell opened the Island and didn't tell me about it? Did the Parliament have a really grand opening with coconuts and Mai Tai's for all?

My Dearest Taffy, it is wonderful to see you re-appearing on the Island to re-assume your position of Director of Tourism and Immigration.OTI opens for business October 15th and runs until April 1-15 depending on the cold and snow conditions of the Mainland.Your Director of Parliament has done scientific and economic studies that have determined OTI Tourist Visas drop dramaticly after April 1st and it just is not economically feasible to continue business after that date.the Island goes into "vacation" mode as per the NJ Shore on the Mainland during winter.

As you are reading, OTI is buzzing with business and major political developments as per the Attorney General's pending legal brief versus the Conservancy on the Mainland.Exciting indeed!

Grselig wrote:

Math23x7 wrote:People are talking about enclosing OTI with a wall (whether or not we force someone else to pay for it).  However, what me and my fellow citizens of this great island must understand is that eventually, we will be forced to expand.  Once this thread hits 1100 posts, it splits in two and the old thread gets locked.  That's just part of forum physics.  The big question will be how we endure the expansion.  And yes, by posting this, we inched even closer to that moment.

Maybe one of our esteemed officials should create a position entitled "Secretary of Expansion" to investigate and report on the dilemma.  Its time somebody drained the ocean.  This will certainly create employment opportunities on OTI.  As my high school political science teacher (now deceased) may have argued, physics were made to be broken.

This is an excellent idea and I will have an exploratory commission appointed at once the not only develop this idea but perhaps to combine it with OTI Dietary Bureau to help prevent Island residents from over-indulgence of coconuts, banannas and mangos.After all, the diet of our Island residents is critical !!!

Grselig wrote:

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

billg315 wrote:This is probably a bad time to mention the two paralegals, secretary, law school legal intern, receptionist and lobby security guard I brought in as well.

As long as they go through the proper legal channels it's all good. We welcome legal immigration on OTI. Once you win the legal case we won't have to worry about illegal immigration because we'll have the money for the wall. Of course the wall would be an eye sore around all of the beaches so we may have to rethink that. Maybe a big moat with draw bridges to the beaches.

Just trying to brainstorm.    What about an invisible wall. Now heat me out.   On the mainland we have electronic walls  to keep canines fenced in.    What if we have crack scientists (meaning smart not addicts) figure out the frequency of the undesirables.   An invisible electronic wall can then be  constructed and the beautiful views preserved.

The OTI Institute of Technology will be very interested in exploring and experimenting with this excellent idea! The views and vistas of OTI are critical in attracting tourism.Perhaps micro or nanno chips in the shapes of bannanas can be placed in all legal residents and a temporary chip placed on tourists.Minds far greater than mine,( my skills are Parliamentary Management) can perhaps conceive and develop this concept.

Smart man you are Doc. Nano chips is ingenious. I wonder if coconuts are now the leading edge of technology. The next silicone. May have to stock up on futures. Just needed a break from the mainland. Maybe a strong shot of rum and banana liquor will help. All this talk of rain and wind is just wrong this time of year.

Grselig OTI is a haven for Mainland Snow Lovers when weather models bite you on the arse and produce a monster rainstorm complete with high winds right in the middle of the most productive snow times of the winter.We've got the tonic they all need at the Coconut Lounge or one of the many other established watering hioles throughout the Island.We enable those patrons to engineer their own 'benders' to escape that sound of raindrops driven against one's mainland windows in the wind.

The Bureau of Tourism has reported a 10-15% increase in tourist visas from Mianland snow loving visitors.The Bureau has even coined a term, "Torch Time Bonanza" to describe the increase to our Treasury.This so far disappointing winter season on the Mainland is definitely boosting the fiscal soundness of OTI!

This island may be overrun with tourists this weekend. The only thing worse than a rain storm in January that misses being a Godzilla snowstorm by about 5 degrees, is one that knocks out people's power and brings down trees. I myself will definitely need the tonics of the Coconut Lounge to get through the weekend.

billg315 wrote:This island may be overrun with tourists this weekend. The only thing worse than a rain storm in January that misses being a Godzilla snowstorm by about 5 degrees, is one that knocks out people's power and brings down trees. I myself will definitely need the tonics of the Coconut Lounge to get through the weekend.

I agree wholeheartedly. Today is my first day back on the job after my very pleasant stay at the OTI sanitarium. My fear is this forecast for a Sunday night through Tuesday rain event, which has our temperatures back in Orange County sitting between 33-36 the whole time may drive me back to the Sanitarium by Wednesday.

I'm very pleased with the job you've done so far Attorney General. You and Grse have been a welcome addition to OTI and are quickly making yourselves indispensable here. However as we have gained two new citizens we have three who have contributed very little to our Island nation during the last several months and these three currently hold or have held very high positions here. I speak of course of the Director of Security Snowman, who is also a fugitive, The Director of Immigration and Tourism Taffy who made a cameo a week ago and proceeded to abandon her post, AGAIN, and ex King Mugs who still hasn't seemed to recover from his ouster several years ago when he produced 0.8 inches of snow in a two month period.

Perhaps it's time for the Director of Parliament to call for new elections so these posts can be filled by citizens that would take a bullet rather than see OTI decay into a third world, banana republic filled with decadence and debauchey.

I will be meeting with the queen today to discuss the above. As always she will be wearing her bikini made of snow and I will be bringing a hair dryer. No disruptions please until tomorrow.  

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury (what's left of it)
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

I will be happy to discuss the topic of new elections to fill seldomly filled positions AFTER the rain event programmed for our area of the Mainland.I see the Mainland weather station NWS has snow mixed in during the entire event.My fear in discussing this topic before the rain event to come with you CP, is that you will be looking out the window seeing 34 degrees in a deluge mixed with snow and this could possibly result in an extended stay at the Sanitarium.Enjoy the Queens company and we will meet on OTI AFTER the rainstorm.

.......so a week ago there were 2 very powerful storms on the horizon. The first was to be an epic rain and wind storm set to hit on the 23rd. The second was a powerfrul snow storm at the beginning of a major pattern change... at least a Godzilla+, and was considered a "lock" for the 28th. Guess which one is set to verify exactly as forecast and which one is now completely "off the radar"

Between the above and the fact that tomorrow's nor'easter is going to be slow-moving and with temps. in the upper 30's in late January I'm beginning to lose my mind quickly!!!

OTI sanitarium here I come, and this time put away the cocunuts and mangos. It's heroin for me!!!

syosnow94 wrote:.......so a week ago there were 2 very powerful storms on the horizon. The first was to be an epic rain and wind storm set to hit on the 23rd. The second was a powerfrul snow storm at the beginning of a major pattern change... at least a Godzilla+, and was considered a "lock" for the 28th. Guess which one is set to verify exactly as forecast and which one is now completely "off the radar"

Between the above and the fact that tomorrow's nor'easter is going to be slow-moving and with temps. in the upper 30's in late January I'm beginning to lose my mind quickly!!!        

OTI sanitarium here I come, and this time put away the cocunuts and mangos. It's heroin for me!!!

Please make sure to get a temporary Visa from the acting Director of Tourism and Immigration.

I was just released from the Sanitarium on Friday and they are truly miracle workers. If tomorrows storm goes as currently forecast and I watch 4 inches of sleet fall that could have been 20 inches of snow, I will most likely be joining you at some time Wednesday.

After my release from my last visit to the Sanitarium I also had a 24 hour meeting with the snow Queen. She of course greeted me in her bikini made of snow and I greeted her with my hair dryer on high. I will leave the rest behind closed doors where they should stay. This is a PG forum. Should you desire a meeting with the Queen please check with Doc for her schedule next week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI5VfVAMyEI

The revelry and cheer of OTI residents as massive amounts of tourist visa and Sanitarium income flooding the OTI Trasury in taxes as a result of Mainlaners flocking to flee the impending huge rainstorm and mild temperatures are evident in this short video shot a few days ago on various OTI locations.

Happy Days ...INDEED!!!!!